How do you deal with a spouse that drags your children into arguments?

I'm just speechless. My parents never did this... And our child is THREE! What kind of idiot encourages a toddler to take sides? How do I handle this?How do you deal with a spouse that drags your children into arguments?
That's down right child abuse. Why would you stay in a marriage with a man who cares so little about his own child that he would force it to live with such abuse?





Stay with him and he will manipulate your child into believing you are a horrible person who doesn't deserve to be treated with any love or respect. Do you really want to watch him turn your own child against you? Think of the life time damage he is doing to this child AND to your relationship with your child.How do you deal with a spouse that drags your children into arguments?
I'd simply ask to speak to him at some point when things are calm and broach the subject. I'd express my concern about allowing yourselves to argue in front of your child, his willingness to involve the child in the conversation (give him specific examples) and the impact that you think dealing with this might not only have on the child, but also on his relationships with the two of you individually. Ask him to work out an agreement on how to handle the situation (concerning the child) when you start to argue, this way you have a plan in place that accommodates the situation and provides guidelines that you have agreed to for the benefit of your child. Whether this be holding off the discussion until the child is asleep, putting him to play in his room or watch tv for a short while. If these options aren't possible (in car or out some where together) then an agreement to be civil (no screaming, no derogatory or degrading words/names). Also, if possible, your child should see you resolve your problems (models positive problem resolution behaviors) and show one another affection once the issues are resolved.
That is just wrong on so many levels. First of all it is not fare to the child and second of all it can cause long lasting damage to the child. So my advice is to take it very seriously and not put up with it or leave him because it can really cause a lot of emotional abuse for the kid. For a child to have to pick a parents side is horrible. Because to the child it makes them feel like they have to pick who they love more and a child cant do that and they don't understand. Good luck with this but remember to put your kid first and not to let this go on for too long for the child's sake.
Boy or not you did marry him and now have a child with him.


You cannot directly change him on your own, but you can stop enabling him by learning about intimacy and how to keep negative emotions out of the argument. It's not easy but over time you can learn how to control yourself and give him the environment he needs in order to mature himself.





The intimacy book in the source is written from an -~=extremely=~- feminine position, to the extent that it may seem alien to him and unable to understand it; it's not his fault don't gripe about it if this is the case and don't expect him to read it. The book is for you not him anyway.





The His Needs; Her Needs one is written from a rather masculine stand-point (he should read it, you should read it).


Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage is fairly neutral.
I agree with people who said your husband is a selfish and immature idiot.


I strongly suggest you go to therapy- alone....so you can get a trained professional's advice and tips on how to talk to him.





I also think HE should go to therapy as well...so he can find out WHY he is acting this way...He should be able to realize how he is hurting both you and his kid with his behaviour. (A mature man knows when he has done something wrong, and he tries to change for the better.)





Good luck. Think about yourself and think about how your child is being brought up as well. Kids are like little sponges...They absorb everything!





So be careful here..... Think about his future emotional stability and well-being. Do you want him to grow up thinking this is OK...so he can treat his own wife and kids the same way?
Tell him to stop. Warn him the next time he involves your child you will take your child for a drive or out for ice cream to remove him/her from the unhealthy situation. Then do it. Be swift and take the child out of the home and leave your husband behind.





Having a quick response to your husbands behavior will encourage him to stop.
Wow, I have no idea! That is horrible, I think you need to have a SERIOUS talk! That is not fair, a parent should not put their child in a position to choose between one or the other...ever! No matter what it is about! Taking sides, sounds like he is being so frigging childish!
I can see why your speechless, You have two toddlers. Try showing him your Q and A. He is not thinking of the children only about himself. The boy needs counseling and I do mean boy.
You can pray for him and yourself. That is how you handle it with Jesus
D-I-V-O-R-C-E
protect ur 3 y/o and get rid of the dumbass.