And they keep promising never again, but you keep catching them again and again. They know it hurts you so much, they keep promising not anymore. Remember, its a spouse - so a lot of my life is invested here.How do you deal with your spouse lying to you about something they know you dissaprove of?
Lying about anything in a relationship is tough. Once your caught at it, it breeds distrust and insecurities which is very hard to rebuild. And if there lying here makes you wonder what else there lieing about. Depending on the severity of what your talking about you have to decide whether it's worth giving up what you have invested.How do you deal with your spouse lying to you about something they know you dissaprove of?
Hello Cakers I understand you situation , but one thing I may not be clear of though is the act on which you keep catching your spouse on ?
Never the less I will try my best to help you as possible as I could . Lets say maybe just the thing you keep catching your spouse on is may be say pornography, lets take that example for the start .
The first thing you need to find is the reason for him doing what he is doing that you keep catching him doing . Try to make him as comfortable as possible to tell you the reason why he does what he do . Then try your best to be understanding and calm as you are mainly concerned about the safety of your marriage .
In most cases women are not reluctant enough to communicate with their spouses about such matters as sex and stuff . you may discover that basically the lack of proper communication about this may even lead to sseparation. So try to talk to him about your feelings towards his actions , then let him tell you exactly what it is that attract him to doing what he does that you are not able to do for him ?
then you may come to discover that aafter allyour spouse was just not reluctant to talk openly to you about sex .
I am not saying that what he does was sexually related since you were not openly clear about your details . and good luck .
Is he lying about the cost of something saying it was $1000 when infact it was $1999 or is he lying about something that could really impact on your life.
If it's financial - you can take control of the money
If it's his whereabouts - you could ask that he not go out to such and such anymore.
Some people lie out of habit. It is something they learnt and it worked as a child and they continue to do it. They dont like confrontation. Is he a placid guy trying to avoid an argument.
Consider how bad his lies are. Does he lie about the cost of something or have you caught him out lying about female company.
Look at your values. Some wise people may say a lie is a lie and to leave but I think some lies I can look beyond because I have invested so much in my marriage too
Shame they don't feel the same way about you really isn't it, that as you're married a lot is invested.
You either put up with it or you don't. It's clear that you are never going to win and it's clear that your spouse doesn't really care about your feelings. We don't know what they are lying about so it could be that you disapprove of something that most people wouldn't mind.....but i still think if something really upsets your spouse it's something you shouldn't do regardless of whether other people wouldn't mind.
Cant you tell us what it is ?
You either accept that you married a liar, you evaluate whether or not that thing you disapprove of is really worth the hassle of getting upset over, you consider marriage counseling, or you move on.
I can tell you repeated lying wouldn't sit well with me, ';life invested'; or not. Lying is showing disrespect for you and the relationship...and I'd wonder what else was I being lied to about? No trust in a relationship, no relationship.
Something tells me this is of a sexual nature, correct? If so, it could be an addiction. I strongly recommend a counselor to work through this issue, because you can't stay with someone who is going to lie like this constantly, and do hurtful things knowingly.
They say speed kills. Well, lying and secrets kill relationships. I'm going to guess and say that he's promising to not look at porn and keeps doing so. If this is what's going on then he's going to need professional help because he's addicted. Best.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
How important is it to have a good strong sexual relationship with your spouse?
Can married couples have a normal relationship without sex? Is having sex once a month normal? Can having kids decrease a womans sexual desire? How important is it to have a good strong sexual relationship with your spouse?
Anything is possible. I believe that you do have to have a strong sexual relationship period. Especially in a marriage you are going to spend the rest of your life together so make it count. When I had kids and during my pregnancy I was more sexually attracted to my spouse and vice versa. For me once a month would be a joke. Good luck!How important is it to have a good strong sexual relationship with your spouse?
It's a good thing I'm not married, I don't want you to have a good strong sexual relationship with my spouse.
It's important, You can't have a great marriage w/o it. Normal is different for every couple. I know couples that have it once a month. I wanted and often got it every day. I'm older but things haven't changed for me.
Of course kids will change your desire. Fatigue, stress, time, everything plays a role in desire. What you choose to do about it, make dates, plans and schedule will make things easier but not perfect.
I'm not married and never have been, but that is a given. Sex with a spouse should be an ever growing level of intimacy. Take that out of the equation and you have two sexually frustrated people who will eventually stop being attracted to each other altogether. Then, where's the point of the marriage.
And yes having kids definitely decreases a woman's sexual desire. I don't have kids yet but i work with them and i can tell you they are exhausting. Most days, even if i had someone to come home to, i would be too tired to think of trying to have sex. Having your own kids decreases privacy; especially if they're younger and more clingy. Obligations like having to fix dinner and still be on time to pick up little Jane from soccer practice all after a long day work = i just want to get in the bed and sleep; forget the sex.
Having kids can decrease a woman's sex drive because by the time she is done taking care of the kids, the house, probably working outside the home and the 100s of other little things that need to be done each day, SHE IS TIRED.
A normal relationship is whatever the partners define as normal. Desire for sex is personal. National averages point to 1 to 2 times a week as normal for couples. You need to look at what works in your personal relationship and not worry about ';normal';.
unless you are both eunichs (and the female equivalent) then no.
if you two are total freaks of nature and have no sex drives then it can also work-
however the 99.9999999999999999999999999999999% rest of us, require a good sex drive as a way to be intimate, bond and relate wth the person we love.
sex is a way to show passion and intimacy that there really is absolutely no substitute for- not to mention that as humans we have natural urges.
for a married couple, having sex once a month early on is not normal- a few times a week is normal early, tapering off to maybe 4-5 times a month maybe if you were geezers then once a month but at that point your relationship/marriage would have become more apathetic and IMO pathetic.
no one wants that.
remember in the 50s when in movies the husband reads the paper and ignroes the wife during breakfast?
is that love or apathy?
if you said the former I know a good mental hospital for you....
a good sex life along with trust, love, communication, respect and commitment are CRUCIAL to a marriage or relationship- take away one and like a house of cards it all comes tumbling down.
like a building without adequate support, these things must be present or the marriage/relationship will come crumbling down quickly.
WHAT??? It's huge... it's real big. If you've made a vow to be with ONE person for the rest of your life then that women better listen to Ashanti's new song, Good Good.
A healthy sex life is like gas for the marriage, of course you have to have a car that works and all that, but to keep it going you need some gas.
Can you feel your car up once a month? And even during the week, do you enjoy it being on empty? I hope not. Get that together...
This is a tough one. If there is nothing medically wrong with your spouse there should be no reason not to have sex. Having children does put a damper on sex at times, and taking care of children is a hard job and takes a lot of energy. She may be just tired.
Talk to her and see if you can figure out what the problem is and discuss ways to help.
I went through this with my ex and it tore our relationship apart. Our problem was, he spent so much time surfing porn there wasn't anything left for me. We would go for months without sex or any kind of intimate contact.
Its a basic human desire to have a connection sexually. I would say it is important. I don't have kids, so not sure about that. My mother had 9 siblings after me, so I wouldn't see it as affecting how her and my dad got along. (not that I really wanna think about that! lol But a decent example)
And for once a month, I would think both partners would need it more than that?
Having been married twice I know that a healthy sex life is important. Children can affect the frequency, but the closer the family is the better the intimate relationships.
I just cannot find a partner who wants sex every day!
it's very important to keep that part of your relationship alive and well. make time for you and your spouse to be together like that at least once a week or every few weeks.
I think most married couples end up more like roommates that don't have marital relations. It becomes a financial thing.
Sex in marriage is not everything, but marriage without sex is nothing.
They can pretend to have a normal relationship.. kids do bring down your sexual drive because your so tired but sex is very important in a relationship. I would say two time a week.
Sex is an important part of a marriage/relationship. It is the way GOD created us. It can build relationships and break them up so be careful with it.
have u been married long
do u find him sexy
do u think about sex with any 1 else
sexless marriage probs cant last
please let me no the answers
got the same prob but im male lol thanks
My ex's loss of sex drive destroyed our marriage-if a wife doesn't meet her man's sexual needs it leaves him with no ethical solution to his problem
I think its important, its great to have that connection.
god just have sex it makes ur realtion better
Anything is possible. I believe that you do have to have a strong sexual relationship period. Especially in a marriage you are going to spend the rest of your life together so make it count. When I had kids and during my pregnancy I was more sexually attracted to my spouse and vice versa. For me once a month would be a joke. Good luck!How important is it to have a good strong sexual relationship with your spouse?
It's a good thing I'm not married, I don't want you to have a good strong sexual relationship with my spouse.
It's important, You can't have a great marriage w/o it. Normal is different for every couple. I know couples that have it once a month. I wanted and often got it every day. I'm older but things haven't changed for me.
Of course kids will change your desire. Fatigue, stress, time, everything plays a role in desire. What you choose to do about it, make dates, plans and schedule will make things easier but not perfect.
I'm not married and never have been, but that is a given. Sex with a spouse should be an ever growing level of intimacy. Take that out of the equation and you have two sexually frustrated people who will eventually stop being attracted to each other altogether. Then, where's the point of the marriage.
And yes having kids definitely decreases a woman's sexual desire. I don't have kids yet but i work with them and i can tell you they are exhausting. Most days, even if i had someone to come home to, i would be too tired to think of trying to have sex. Having your own kids decreases privacy; especially if they're younger and more clingy. Obligations like having to fix dinner and still be on time to pick up little Jane from soccer practice all after a long day work = i just want to get in the bed and sleep; forget the sex.
Having kids can decrease a woman's sex drive because by the time she is done taking care of the kids, the house, probably working outside the home and the 100s of other little things that need to be done each day, SHE IS TIRED.
A normal relationship is whatever the partners define as normal. Desire for sex is personal. National averages point to 1 to 2 times a week as normal for couples. You need to look at what works in your personal relationship and not worry about ';normal';.
unless you are both eunichs (and the female equivalent) then no.
if you two are total freaks of nature and have no sex drives then it can also work-
however the 99.9999999999999999999999999999999% rest of us, require a good sex drive as a way to be intimate, bond and relate wth the person we love.
sex is a way to show passion and intimacy that there really is absolutely no substitute for- not to mention that as humans we have natural urges.
for a married couple, having sex once a month early on is not normal- a few times a week is normal early, tapering off to maybe 4-5 times a month maybe if you were geezers then once a month but at that point your relationship/marriage would have become more apathetic and IMO pathetic.
no one wants that.
remember in the 50s when in movies the husband reads the paper and ignroes the wife during breakfast?
is that love or apathy?
if you said the former I know a good mental hospital for you....
a good sex life along with trust, love, communication, respect and commitment are CRUCIAL to a marriage or relationship- take away one and like a house of cards it all comes tumbling down.
like a building without adequate support, these things must be present or the marriage/relationship will come crumbling down quickly.
WHAT??? It's huge... it's real big. If you've made a vow to be with ONE person for the rest of your life then that women better listen to Ashanti's new song, Good Good.
A healthy sex life is like gas for the marriage, of course you have to have a car that works and all that, but to keep it going you need some gas.
Can you feel your car up once a month? And even during the week, do you enjoy it being on empty? I hope not. Get that together...
This is a tough one. If there is nothing medically wrong with your spouse there should be no reason not to have sex. Having children does put a damper on sex at times, and taking care of children is a hard job and takes a lot of energy. She may be just tired.
Talk to her and see if you can figure out what the problem is and discuss ways to help.
I went through this with my ex and it tore our relationship apart. Our problem was, he spent so much time surfing porn there wasn't anything left for me. We would go for months without sex or any kind of intimate contact.
Its a basic human desire to have a connection sexually. I would say it is important. I don't have kids, so not sure about that. My mother had 9 siblings after me, so I wouldn't see it as affecting how her and my dad got along. (not that I really wanna think about that! lol But a decent example)
And for once a month, I would think both partners would need it more than that?
Having been married twice I know that a healthy sex life is important. Children can affect the frequency, but the closer the family is the better the intimate relationships.
I just cannot find a partner who wants sex every day!
it's very important to keep that part of your relationship alive and well. make time for you and your spouse to be together like that at least once a week or every few weeks.
I think most married couples end up more like roommates that don't have marital relations. It becomes a financial thing.
Sex in marriage is not everything, but marriage without sex is nothing.
They can pretend to have a normal relationship.. kids do bring down your sexual drive because your so tired but sex is very important in a relationship. I would say two time a week.
Sex is an important part of a marriage/relationship. It is the way GOD created us. It can build relationships and break them up so be careful with it.
have u been married long
do u find him sexy
do u think about sex with any 1 else
sexless marriage probs cant last
please let me no the answers
got the same prob but im male lol thanks
My ex's loss of sex drive destroyed our marriage-if a wife doesn't meet her man's sexual needs it leaves him with no ethical solution to his problem
I think its important, its great to have that connection.
god just have sex it makes ur realtion better
Do you need to live in Australia once you are granted a temporary spouse visa?
I am married to an Australian and we live in the UK. I am planning on applying for a temporary spouse visa, which then becomes a permanent visa after 2 years. What would happen if we didn't relocate to Australia having been granted the visa. Does this invalidate the visa and prevent a permanent one being issued in 2 years time. I am aware that you have to enter australia by the ';specified initial entry date'; on the visa, but less clear on whether you are then expected to remain there for the duration. Thanks for any advice.Do you need to live in Australia once you are granted a temporary spouse visa?
No, you don't need to stay in Australia after you've validated your visa but it's important that you keep DIAC informed of your address. Spouses on temporary spouse visas are able to travel to and from Australia without restriction.
It would probably be a good idea to be in Australia when your visa is due to become permanent because there will be an interview to prove that the relationship is still intact at that time and the process will be simpler if you're here, but if (and only if) you apply for your original visa offshore, your permanent visa can be granted either onshore or offshore provided DIAC know exactly where you are at that time.
Note that when you have your permanent visa, it is valid for only 5 years if you are outside Australia and you must meet certain residence and/or other requirements to be eligible for a Resident Return visa. You can't just get a permanent visa on the off chance that you may want to travel to Australia at some time in the future. Our Permanent Residents are expected to be committed to Australia.
If you've been in a partner relationship for 5 years (or 2 years if you have children together), your visa will probably be permanent from day 1 and then the 5 year validity and residence requirements will come into play immediately.Do you need to live in Australia once you are granted a temporary spouse visa?
What would happen if we didn't relocate to Australia having been granted the visa.
You must enter australia and stay there for the next 2 years - that is what you are applying for - PERMANENT RESIDENCY.
Does this invalidate the visa and prevent a permanent one being issued in 2 years time.
YES
I am aware that you have to enter australia by the ';specified initial entry date'; on the visa,
YES thats right
but less clear on whether you are then expected to remain there for the duration.
YES you are expected to remain there for 2 years.
It is ONLY 2 years. You need to suck it up and dont be a wimp. You have email to stay in touch. Once you get your permanent residency then you can go home to visit.
My Australian husband says that it would be very probable that you have to say...immigration and the social security in Oz are very well linked and as soon as you leave Oz then they will know. They have a very rigourous programme on this kind of thing.
Start from the top...
The reason to apply for residency/settlement Visa is to go permanently to Australia.. ?
visiting:
if you are not intending staying there, you apply for a standard visitors Visa (the electronic one on the web) as and when you want/need to visit.
Settling:
As and when you decide to settle (at least for the 2 years for permanent leave to remain/3 years to get citizenship) then do it then and not before. If (like the UK, and many other countries) you do not demonstrate a commitment to reside or be in a relationship permanently in the country, they don't issue you with a permanent residency or citizenship. - you are allowed holiday trips out etc but not excessive ones (eg many weeks/months).
Note also, that if having obtained permanent residency you do not remain in country for a significant time per year (average), that residency gets cancelled... lack of commitment.
So the big question is, why are you going for a residency visa, unless it is because you intend to spend the next 3 years in australia on an effectively permanent basis - the concern seemingly being expressed ?
Note that as with many countries, if you have an existing relationship (eg 2 years or more) outside of australia before applying, it is typical to be issued with a permanent residency Visa immediately... So in many ways, any restriction is removed. This appears to be the case in Australia.
FYI: keeping in touch,
today (unlike 20 years ago or even 10 ) there are many cheap ways to keep intouch.
Skype (video, sound and text) on a PC to PC
telephone, see here for cheap calls from UK /BT landline
0.5p/min (1p/min next worst !)
http://www.cheapestinternationalcalls.co鈥?/a>
and 2p./min to mobiles !
http://www.cheapestinternationalcalls.co鈥?/a>
over and above emal etc.
skype is even available on mobiles on the '3' network in both Australia and UK - free Mobile to mobile contactmake up brushes makeup hair
No, you don't need to stay in Australia after you've validated your visa but it's important that you keep DIAC informed of your address. Spouses on temporary spouse visas are able to travel to and from Australia without restriction.
It would probably be a good idea to be in Australia when your visa is due to become permanent because there will be an interview to prove that the relationship is still intact at that time and the process will be simpler if you're here, but if (and only if) you apply for your original visa offshore, your permanent visa can be granted either onshore or offshore provided DIAC know exactly where you are at that time.
Note that when you have your permanent visa, it is valid for only 5 years if you are outside Australia and you must meet certain residence and/or other requirements to be eligible for a Resident Return visa. You can't just get a permanent visa on the off chance that you may want to travel to Australia at some time in the future. Our Permanent Residents are expected to be committed to Australia.
If you've been in a partner relationship for 5 years (or 2 years if you have children together), your visa will probably be permanent from day 1 and then the 5 year validity and residence requirements will come into play immediately.Do you need to live in Australia once you are granted a temporary spouse visa?
What would happen if we didn't relocate to Australia having been granted the visa.
You must enter australia and stay there for the next 2 years - that is what you are applying for - PERMANENT RESIDENCY.
Does this invalidate the visa and prevent a permanent one being issued in 2 years time.
YES
I am aware that you have to enter australia by the ';specified initial entry date'; on the visa,
YES thats right
but less clear on whether you are then expected to remain there for the duration.
YES you are expected to remain there for 2 years.
It is ONLY 2 years. You need to suck it up and dont be a wimp. You have email to stay in touch. Once you get your permanent residency then you can go home to visit.
My Australian husband says that it would be very probable that you have to say...immigration and the social security in Oz are very well linked and as soon as you leave Oz then they will know. They have a very rigourous programme on this kind of thing.
Start from the top...
The reason to apply for residency/settlement Visa is to go permanently to Australia.. ?
visiting:
if you are not intending staying there, you apply for a standard visitors Visa (the electronic one on the web) as and when you want/need to visit.
Settling:
As and when you decide to settle (at least for the 2 years for permanent leave to remain/3 years to get citizenship) then do it then and not before. If (like the UK, and many other countries) you do not demonstrate a commitment to reside or be in a relationship permanently in the country, they don't issue you with a permanent residency or citizenship. - you are allowed holiday trips out etc but not excessive ones (eg many weeks/months).
Note also, that if having obtained permanent residency you do not remain in country for a significant time per year (average), that residency gets cancelled... lack of commitment.
So the big question is, why are you going for a residency visa, unless it is because you intend to spend the next 3 years in australia on an effectively permanent basis - the concern seemingly being expressed ?
Note that as with many countries, if you have an existing relationship (eg 2 years or more) outside of australia before applying, it is typical to be issued with a permanent residency Visa immediately... So in many ways, any restriction is removed. This appears to be the case in Australia.
FYI: keeping in touch,
today (unlike 20 years ago or even 10 ) there are many cheap ways to keep intouch.
Skype (video, sound and text) on a PC to PC
telephone, see here for cheap calls from UK /BT landline
0.5p/min (1p/min next worst !)
http://www.cheapestinternationalcalls.co鈥?/a>
and 2p./min to mobiles !
http://www.cheapestinternationalcalls.co鈥?/a>
over and above emal etc.
skype is even available on mobiles on the '3' network in both Australia and UK - free Mobile to mobile contact
How do you deal with a spouse who starts projects and then doesn't finish them?
He decided to clean the garage and dragged all this sh*t out into the driveway. Then he laid down on the couch and fell asleep, leaving our front yard looking as if we were having a garage sale. I swear it drives me batshit when he starts something and then refuses to finish it. If it were me doing the same thing, he would have expected the job to be done within the hour. Is it wrong to hold him to the same standard that he holds me to?How do you deal with a spouse who starts projects and then doesn't finish them?
ugghh i hate those kind...my dad is one of them he wouldnt start a project without 2 packs of beer in the fridge and at the end of the day he would never finish it.....i find it uncalled for if ur not going to end it dont start it....dont waste my time n urs just pay some one else to do it...n whatever ur paying them u have to give me double to go shopping because since you have so much money to spare then u minus well make it rain a lil more on my sideHow do you deal with a spouse who starts projects and then doesn't finish them?
Normally I don't mind if my husband starts a job %26amp; doesn't finish it. It's usually something petty anyway, but if I had all that stuff out in the driveway %26amp; front yard, that would definitely bother me!! Hopefully after his nap he will get back out there %26amp; finish it before the day is over! :-) Good luck!
Remind him of this next time he wants you to finish your task!!
My husband and I both do that so we have lots of unfinished projects lying around in our home. To finish them, we have to help each other because we sometimes find doing large projects alone to be overwhelming.
Absolutely Not!
No! He needs to finish projects or not start them at all!
I dealt with a husband for 11 years that did just that. Not the garage thing, but other things. He would start many projects, get a call to go offshore and then expected me to finish them before he got home. If I did not, he would not. It would just lay there for many months until I finally pitched a fit and then he called me a nag. He made many promises of things he was going to build or do and never went through on any of them. It was the same as making promises just to break them. Guess he got his kicks off on that. After 11 years of that as well as other things, I told him I was not happy and wanted a separation. We finally divorced. I now have a wonderful husband that keeps his word. He finishes everything he starts. He does not make promises to me just so he can break them and let me down.
Disappointment in a spouse is one of the hardest things to get over. YOU ARE NOT WRONG!!!
ugghh i hate those kind...my dad is one of them he wouldnt start a project without 2 packs of beer in the fridge and at the end of the day he would never finish it.....i find it uncalled for if ur not going to end it dont start it....dont waste my time n urs just pay some one else to do it...n whatever ur paying them u have to give me double to go shopping because since you have so much money to spare then u minus well make it rain a lil more on my sideHow do you deal with a spouse who starts projects and then doesn't finish them?
Normally I don't mind if my husband starts a job %26amp; doesn't finish it. It's usually something petty anyway, but if I had all that stuff out in the driveway %26amp; front yard, that would definitely bother me!! Hopefully after his nap he will get back out there %26amp; finish it before the day is over! :-) Good luck!
Remind him of this next time he wants you to finish your task!!
My husband and I both do that so we have lots of unfinished projects lying around in our home. To finish them, we have to help each other because we sometimes find doing large projects alone to be overwhelming.
Absolutely Not!
No! He needs to finish projects or not start them at all!
I dealt with a husband for 11 years that did just that. Not the garage thing, but other things. He would start many projects, get a call to go offshore and then expected me to finish them before he got home. If I did not, he would not. It would just lay there for many months until I finally pitched a fit and then he called me a nag. He made many promises of things he was going to build or do and never went through on any of them. It was the same as making promises just to break them. Guess he got his kicks off on that. After 11 years of that as well as other things, I told him I was not happy and wanted a separation. We finally divorced. I now have a wonderful husband that keeps his word. He finishes everything he starts. He does not make promises to me just so he can break them and let me down.
Disappointment in a spouse is one of the hardest things to get over. YOU ARE NOT WRONG!!!
How can we cope with a spouse who has bi polar disorder , if someone has experience, please answer?
He has bi polar disorder, has terrible temper. Is there anything for me to say to him to make him under stand and change the way he is?How can we cope with a spouse who has bi polar disorder , if someone has experience, please answer?
Uhhhh... I feel for you, seriously.
This is the number one problem with sufferers of bipolar disoreder : they think that they don't need medication, the problem is yours, not theirs. .Really, really frustrating to say the very least.
This usually goes hand in hand with having a personality disorder such as borderline personality disorder or narcissistic personality disorder (or others).
Dealing with this is not going to be easy, but you really need to set some boundaries and make him take his medication. It is likely that he is manic right now (or at least when the decision was made to stop the meds), when the pendulum swings the other way, it may be easier to get him on the meds again.
Honestly, I think you are in for a long life of this... On again, off again.
Seek out therapy for yourself.. it will help. You need the support.
Best of luck to youHow can we cope with a spouse who has bi polar disorder , if someone has experience, please answer?
Fairy is right, he needs to take his medication, but if he doesn't want to, there is nothing you can do but keep yourself away from him.
I married one, he wouldn't admit he had any problem so I had to leave the abusive relationship. Tough decision with three YOUNG kids,too.
My girlfriend's husband is bipolar on meds, and he is fine. He becomes uncontrollable (he's not violent though, thank goodness) when he doesn't take them. The only way she got his attention was by divorcing him if he didn't stay on medication and therapy. He decided that she was important enough to keep, and is doing just fine.
You make your choices for your best interest. You can never force him.
yea theres nothing you can do to change the way he is
you cant force him to take his medication
but you can be PATIENT (the biggest key) and continue to show him love. alotta times bi polar pple just need space, so sometimes, it might be best to just leave him be for awhile and let him cool off
hi Im Bi polar and trust me if this is what he has he really needs to take his meds he should go back to his gp and maybe try something else if he isnt happy with what he is on now does he see a phsycologist regular he really should do they can really help with meds i lead an almost normall life and im married with 3 children and i work
You can't change or fix him, my bf was on Effexor and stopped taking it and since then he has not been himself and is very moody. I know the feeling of waking on eggshells and not knowing how he's going to act from one day to the next. Just pray that he will get sick of feeling the way he does and seeks help. Good luck to you.
The best thing you can do s sit down and talk with your spouse. Look at things from each other's points of views and ask her how she sees things (just about anything). Look on google for your answer also.
Hopes this helped.
-,johnybrovo3
Well my dad has a bipolar disorder problem too. how we deal with it is we let him go off like go out with friends or let him go for a walk ...you cant get rid of it
Uhhhh... I feel for you, seriously.
This is the number one problem with sufferers of bipolar disoreder : they think that they don't need medication, the problem is yours, not theirs. .Really, really frustrating to say the very least.
This usually goes hand in hand with having a personality disorder such as borderline personality disorder or narcissistic personality disorder (or others).
Dealing with this is not going to be easy, but you really need to set some boundaries and make him take his medication. It is likely that he is manic right now (or at least when the decision was made to stop the meds), when the pendulum swings the other way, it may be easier to get him on the meds again.
Honestly, I think you are in for a long life of this... On again, off again.
Seek out therapy for yourself.. it will help. You need the support.
Best of luck to youHow can we cope with a spouse who has bi polar disorder , if someone has experience, please answer?
Fairy is right, he needs to take his medication, but if he doesn't want to, there is nothing you can do but keep yourself away from him.
I married one, he wouldn't admit he had any problem so I had to leave the abusive relationship. Tough decision with three YOUNG kids,too.
My girlfriend's husband is bipolar on meds, and he is fine. He becomes uncontrollable (he's not violent though, thank goodness) when he doesn't take them. The only way she got his attention was by divorcing him if he didn't stay on medication and therapy. He decided that she was important enough to keep, and is doing just fine.
You make your choices for your best interest. You can never force him.
yea theres nothing you can do to change the way he is
you cant force him to take his medication
but you can be PATIENT (the biggest key) and continue to show him love. alotta times bi polar pple just need space, so sometimes, it might be best to just leave him be for awhile and let him cool off
hi Im Bi polar and trust me if this is what he has he really needs to take his meds he should go back to his gp and maybe try something else if he isnt happy with what he is on now does he see a phsycologist regular he really should do they can really help with meds i lead an almost normall life and im married with 3 children and i work
You can't change or fix him, my bf was on Effexor and stopped taking it and since then he has not been himself and is very moody. I know the feeling of waking on eggshells and not knowing how he's going to act from one day to the next. Just pray that he will get sick of feeling the way he does and seeks help. Good luck to you.
The best thing you can do s sit down and talk with your spouse. Look at things from each other's points of views and ask her how she sees things (just about anything). Look on google for your answer also.
Hopes this helped.
-,johnybrovo3
Well my dad has a bipolar disorder problem too. how we deal with it is we let him go off like go out with friends or let him go for a walk ...you cant get rid of it
What does it mean when a spouse says she needs to be a whole person?
Married over 15 years with children. There aren't any control issues in the relationship. Parenting, house work, bills are all shared. She has the dominant personality, but not by too much. Big decisions are made together. We laugh and spend time together. Her words are we are a good couple, good friends and good parents. Yet she feels that she is not a whole person and needs to prove she can stand on her own. And she is willing to end the marriage for this reason.What does it mean when a spouse says she needs to be a whole person?
It means she is feeling lost. It happens sometimes that you get so wrapped up in taking care of everyone else, you forget to take care of yourself.
I would try to work with her through this. I know it has to be devastating to hear the things she is saying, but I think if you work with her, she can find a way to find herself without ending the marriage.
Hope everything works out.What does it mean when a spouse says she needs to be a whole person?
Sorry man, she sounds like she does not respect you and feels that she needs a real man in her life (not that I am saying ur not, just that she is) and she does not want to hurt your feelings by saying she is going out to find one, but that she wants to stand on her own. If she has a dominant personality like you said, then she already knows that she can stand on her own, so I think that is a lie that she is telling you, but that is just my thoughts.
That what they all say so like ms m said look more into when someone they have no time for you, or they need space , or time for the self's, or time to find there self's, there is always a reason! why hang on to your marriage if she is willing to end it for the most silliest reason there is! omg i can't believe you can fall for that cause deep down you got know there more to this!
She is going through some kind of internal crisis. I wish I could help you more but this has happened to me, too, in a manner of speaking. Ask her to go to counseling with you or by herself before ending the marriage. She'll end up regretting it if she doesn't.
*edit - it doesn't always mean she's cheating. She might be, she might not. It could be depression.
yeah... there is no way that is her real/only reason.
she may be having an affair but does not want to have that come out until the court and dividing up money, etc are settled since she would get screwed in a divorce if it were known she was cheating.
not pleasant to hear, but she is for sure hiding something.
if i were you, i would hire a private investigator
good luck
First, I'm very sorry you're going through this. There is something she's still lacking. I would say she's looking for more purpose, or lying. Second, consider asking her to counseling. Third, regardless of whether or not you go to counseling - I would suggest you buy the book The Love Dare ... http://thelovedarebook.com/ .. its about a 40 day journey for your marriage.
You need to work on collecting proof she is cheating. It may help you take a bigger piece of the assets when she divorces you. She assumes you are too dumb to realize she has a boyfriend. She is moving on with her life and leaving you behind.
Maybe she feels she's ';lost'; herself in a way. Get into things together that you both love. Encourage her to do things she loves/used to love doing. Maybe when she's see that she has something for herself she won't feel so empty.
i agree w/ ms. m. there is something she isn't telling you here. i'm betting that if she ends the marriage, you will find out that she's seeing someone else almost immediately afterwards.
I think it means that she need more than I can provide. She needs outside stimulation, girlfriends, sisters and work.
Mildred is your friend
Baby you've taken all of me ...Theres shuttin Detroit down ... my fUFU man is gotta come around ... This is mine so let me help you find a relaxing time .. If you don't look ahead my man ...let me take that van!.
That's the ONLY reason she told you...I bet if you start investigating there's way more to it.
She's lying. I bet there's someone else involved.
She found someone else who makes her feel whole.
She sounds like her inner lesbian is coming out.
Does she play golf?
She's willing to ';end'; the marriage though something isn't hugely wrong and she and you have children together and you get along but SHE'S not fulfilled? Right now? Don't think too much of her - she made a commitment to marriage and rearing her children and now she wants to go off and find herself? She made her choice(s) - she'llhave more when those children ARE raised up...to leave now is truly the epitome of selfishness...
May be she DOES need a break and to be separated for a couple of months...If you truly love her, you might consider that kind of a break (though goodluck trying to explain to the children...) She may be back sooner than later, then again, she may have no problem leaving you and the kids.
I think she needs counseling badly...maybe she wants to finish her education, go outside and work full time, whatever she feels she needs to get out of this what could be, depression. Obviously she needs help...it's up to you how much rope you want to give her...Sounds kinda immature to be doing it now, if not selfish. -Then again, if I'm misreading and she's hugely depressed? Well, she needs counseling, NO MATTER WHAT.
Sincerely,
Grace
It means she is feeling lost. It happens sometimes that you get so wrapped up in taking care of everyone else, you forget to take care of yourself.
I would try to work with her through this. I know it has to be devastating to hear the things she is saying, but I think if you work with her, she can find a way to find herself without ending the marriage.
Hope everything works out.What does it mean when a spouse says she needs to be a whole person?
Sorry man, she sounds like she does not respect you and feels that she needs a real man in her life (not that I am saying ur not, just that she is) and she does not want to hurt your feelings by saying she is going out to find one, but that she wants to stand on her own. If she has a dominant personality like you said, then she already knows that she can stand on her own, so I think that is a lie that she is telling you, but that is just my thoughts.
That what they all say so like ms m said look more into when someone they have no time for you, or they need space , or time for the self's, or time to find there self's, there is always a reason! why hang on to your marriage if she is willing to end it for the most silliest reason there is! omg i can't believe you can fall for that cause deep down you got know there more to this!
She is going through some kind of internal crisis. I wish I could help you more but this has happened to me, too, in a manner of speaking. Ask her to go to counseling with you or by herself before ending the marriage. She'll end up regretting it if she doesn't.
*edit - it doesn't always mean she's cheating. She might be, she might not. It could be depression.
yeah... there is no way that is her real/only reason.
she may be having an affair but does not want to have that come out until the court and dividing up money, etc are settled since she would get screwed in a divorce if it were known she was cheating.
not pleasant to hear, but she is for sure hiding something.
if i were you, i would hire a private investigator
good luck
First, I'm very sorry you're going through this. There is something she's still lacking. I would say she's looking for more purpose, or lying. Second, consider asking her to counseling. Third, regardless of whether or not you go to counseling - I would suggest you buy the book The Love Dare ... http://thelovedarebook.com/ .. its about a 40 day journey for your marriage.
You need to work on collecting proof she is cheating. It may help you take a bigger piece of the assets when she divorces you. She assumes you are too dumb to realize she has a boyfriend. She is moving on with her life and leaving you behind.
Maybe she feels she's ';lost'; herself in a way. Get into things together that you both love. Encourage her to do things she loves/used to love doing. Maybe when she's see that she has something for herself she won't feel so empty.
i agree w/ ms. m. there is something she isn't telling you here. i'm betting that if she ends the marriage, you will find out that she's seeing someone else almost immediately afterwards.
I think it means that she need more than I can provide. She needs outside stimulation, girlfriends, sisters and work.
Mildred is your friend
Baby you've taken all of me ...Theres shuttin Detroit down ... my fUFU man is gotta come around ... This is mine so let me help you find a relaxing time .. If you don't look ahead my man ...let me take that van!.
That's the ONLY reason she told you...I bet if you start investigating there's way more to it.
She's lying. I bet there's someone else involved.
She found someone else who makes her feel whole.
She sounds like her inner lesbian is coming out.
Does she play golf?
She's willing to ';end'; the marriage though something isn't hugely wrong and she and you have children together and you get along but SHE'S not fulfilled? Right now? Don't think too much of her - she made a commitment to marriage and rearing her children and now she wants to go off and find herself? She made her choice(s) - she'llhave more when those children ARE raised up...to leave now is truly the epitome of selfishness...
May be she DOES need a break and to be separated for a couple of months...If you truly love her, you might consider that kind of a break (though goodluck trying to explain to the children...) She may be back sooner than later, then again, she may have no problem leaving you and the kids.
I think she needs counseling badly...maybe she wants to finish her education, go outside and work full time, whatever she feels she needs to get out of this what could be, depression. Obviously she needs help...it's up to you how much rope you want to give her...Sounds kinda immature to be doing it now, if not selfish. -Then again, if I'm misreading and she's hugely depressed? Well, she needs counseling, NO MATTER WHAT.
Sincerely,
Grace
How important is it to have a good strong sexual relationship with your spouse?
Can married couples have a normal relationship without sex? Is having sex once a month normal? Can having kids decrease a womans sexual desire? How important is it to have a good strong sexual relationship with your spouse?
Anything is possible. I believe that you do have to have a strong sexual relationship period. Especially in a marriage you are going to spend the rest of your life together so make it count. When I had kids and during my pregnancy I was more sexually attracted to my spouse and vice versa. For me once a month would be a joke. Good luck!How important is it to have a good strong sexual relationship with your spouse?
It's a good thing I'm not married, I don't want you to have a good strong sexual relationship with my spouse.
It's important, You can't have a great marriage w/o it. Normal is different for every couple. I know couples that have it once a month. I wanted and often got it every day. I'm older but things haven't changed for me.
Of course kids will change your desire. Fatigue, stress, time, everything plays a role in desire. What you choose to do about it, make dates, plans and schedule will make things easier but not perfect.
I'm not married and never have been, but that is a given. Sex with a spouse should be an ever growing level of intimacy. Take that out of the equation and you have two sexually frustrated people who will eventually stop being attracted to each other altogether. Then, where's the point of the marriage.
And yes having kids definitely decreases a woman's sexual desire. I don't have kids yet but i work with them and i can tell you they are exhausting. Most days, even if i had someone to come home to, i would be too tired to think of trying to have sex. Having your own kids decreases privacy; especially if they're younger and more clingy. Obligations like having to fix dinner and still be on time to pick up little Jane from soccer practice all after a long day work = i just want to get in the bed and sleep; forget the sex.
Having kids can decrease a woman's sex drive because by the time she is done taking care of the kids, the house, probably working outside the home and the 100s of other little things that need to be done each day, SHE IS TIRED.
A normal relationship is whatever the partners define as normal. Desire for sex is personal. National averages point to 1 to 2 times a week as normal for couples. You need to look at what works in your personal relationship and not worry about ';normal';.
unless you are both eunichs (and the female equivalent) then no.
if you two are total freaks of nature and have no sex drives then it can also work-
however the 99.9999999999999999999999999999999% rest of us, require a good sex drive as a way to be intimate, bond and relate wth the person we love.
sex is a way to show passion and intimacy that there really is absolutely no substitute for- not to mention that as humans we have natural urges.
for a married couple, having sex once a month early on is not normal- a few times a week is normal early, tapering off to maybe 4-5 times a month maybe if you were geezers then once a month but at that point your relationship/marriage would have become more apathetic and IMO pathetic.
no one wants that.
remember in the 50s when in movies the husband reads the paper and ignroes the wife during breakfast?
is that love or apathy?
if you said the former I know a good mental hospital for you....
a good sex life along with trust, love, communication, respect and commitment are CRUCIAL to a marriage or relationship- take away one and like a house of cards it all comes tumbling down.
like a building without adequate support, these things must be present or the marriage/relationship will come crumbling down quickly.
WHAT??? It's huge... it's real big. If you've made a vow to be with ONE person for the rest of your life then that women better listen to Ashanti's new song, Good Good.
A healthy sex life is like gas for the marriage, of course you have to have a car that works and all that, but to keep it going you need some gas.
Can you feel your car up once a month? And even during the week, do you enjoy it being on empty? I hope not. Get that together...
This is a tough one. If there is nothing medically wrong with your spouse there should be no reason not to have sex. Having children does put a damper on sex at times, and taking care of children is a hard job and takes a lot of energy. She may be just tired.
Talk to her and see if you can figure out what the problem is and discuss ways to help.
I went through this with my ex and it tore our relationship apart. Our problem was, he spent so much time surfing porn there wasn't anything left for me. We would go for months without sex or any kind of intimate contact.
Its a basic human desire to have a connection sexually. I would say it is important. I don't have kids, so not sure about that. My mother had 9 siblings after me, so I wouldn't see it as affecting how her and my dad got along. (not that I really wanna think about that! lol But a decent example)
And for once a month, I would think both partners would need it more than that?
Having been married twice I know that a healthy sex life is important. Children can affect the frequency, but the closer the family is the better the intimate relationships.
I just cannot find a partner who wants sex every day!
it's very important to keep that part of your relationship alive and well. make time for you and your spouse to be together like that at least once a week or every few weeks.
I think most married couples end up more like roommates that don't have marital relations. It becomes a financial thing.
Sex in marriage is not everything, but marriage without sex is nothing.
They can pretend to have a normal relationship.. kids do bring down your sexual drive because your so tired but sex is very important in a relationship. I would say two time a week.
Sex is an important part of a marriage/relationship. It is the way GOD created us. It can build relationships and break them up so be careful with it.
have u been married long
do u find him sexy
do u think about sex with any 1 else
sexless marriage probs cant last
please let me no the answers
got the same prob but im male lol thanks
My ex's loss of sex drive destroyed our marriage-if a wife doesn't meet her man's sexual needs it leaves him with no ethical solution to his problem
I think its important, its great to have that connection.
god just have sex it makes ur realtion better
Anything is possible. I believe that you do have to have a strong sexual relationship period. Especially in a marriage you are going to spend the rest of your life together so make it count. When I had kids and during my pregnancy I was more sexually attracted to my spouse and vice versa. For me once a month would be a joke. Good luck!How important is it to have a good strong sexual relationship with your spouse?
It's a good thing I'm not married, I don't want you to have a good strong sexual relationship with my spouse.
It's important, You can't have a great marriage w/o it. Normal is different for every couple. I know couples that have it once a month. I wanted and often got it every day. I'm older but things haven't changed for me.
Of course kids will change your desire. Fatigue, stress, time, everything plays a role in desire. What you choose to do about it, make dates, plans and schedule will make things easier but not perfect.
I'm not married and never have been, but that is a given. Sex with a spouse should be an ever growing level of intimacy. Take that out of the equation and you have two sexually frustrated people who will eventually stop being attracted to each other altogether. Then, where's the point of the marriage.
And yes having kids definitely decreases a woman's sexual desire. I don't have kids yet but i work with them and i can tell you they are exhausting. Most days, even if i had someone to come home to, i would be too tired to think of trying to have sex. Having your own kids decreases privacy; especially if they're younger and more clingy. Obligations like having to fix dinner and still be on time to pick up little Jane from soccer practice all after a long day work = i just want to get in the bed and sleep; forget the sex.
Having kids can decrease a woman's sex drive because by the time she is done taking care of the kids, the house, probably working outside the home and the 100s of other little things that need to be done each day, SHE IS TIRED.
A normal relationship is whatever the partners define as normal. Desire for sex is personal. National averages point to 1 to 2 times a week as normal for couples. You need to look at what works in your personal relationship and not worry about ';normal';.
unless you are both eunichs (and the female equivalent) then no.
if you two are total freaks of nature and have no sex drives then it can also work-
however the 99.9999999999999999999999999999999% rest of us, require a good sex drive as a way to be intimate, bond and relate wth the person we love.
sex is a way to show passion and intimacy that there really is absolutely no substitute for- not to mention that as humans we have natural urges.
for a married couple, having sex once a month early on is not normal- a few times a week is normal early, tapering off to maybe 4-5 times a month maybe if you were geezers then once a month but at that point your relationship/marriage would have become more apathetic and IMO pathetic.
no one wants that.
remember in the 50s when in movies the husband reads the paper and ignroes the wife during breakfast?
is that love or apathy?
if you said the former I know a good mental hospital for you....
a good sex life along with trust, love, communication, respect and commitment are CRUCIAL to a marriage or relationship- take away one and like a house of cards it all comes tumbling down.
like a building without adequate support, these things must be present or the marriage/relationship will come crumbling down quickly.
WHAT??? It's huge... it's real big. If you've made a vow to be with ONE person for the rest of your life then that women better listen to Ashanti's new song, Good Good.
A healthy sex life is like gas for the marriage, of course you have to have a car that works and all that, but to keep it going you need some gas.
Can you feel your car up once a month? And even during the week, do you enjoy it being on empty? I hope not. Get that together...
This is a tough one. If there is nothing medically wrong with your spouse there should be no reason not to have sex. Having children does put a damper on sex at times, and taking care of children is a hard job and takes a lot of energy. She may be just tired.
Talk to her and see if you can figure out what the problem is and discuss ways to help.
I went through this with my ex and it tore our relationship apart. Our problem was, he spent so much time surfing porn there wasn't anything left for me. We would go for months without sex or any kind of intimate contact.
Its a basic human desire to have a connection sexually. I would say it is important. I don't have kids, so not sure about that. My mother had 9 siblings after me, so I wouldn't see it as affecting how her and my dad got along. (not that I really wanna think about that! lol But a decent example)
And for once a month, I would think both partners would need it more than that?
Having been married twice I know that a healthy sex life is important. Children can affect the frequency, but the closer the family is the better the intimate relationships.
I just cannot find a partner who wants sex every day!
it's very important to keep that part of your relationship alive and well. make time for you and your spouse to be together like that at least once a week or every few weeks.
I think most married couples end up more like roommates that don't have marital relations. It becomes a financial thing.
Sex in marriage is not everything, but marriage without sex is nothing.
They can pretend to have a normal relationship.. kids do bring down your sexual drive because your so tired but sex is very important in a relationship. I would say two time a week.
Sex is an important part of a marriage/relationship. It is the way GOD created us. It can build relationships and break them up so be careful with it.
have u been married long
do u find him sexy
do u think about sex with any 1 else
sexless marriage probs cant last
please let me no the answers
got the same prob but im male lol thanks
My ex's loss of sex drive destroyed our marriage-if a wife doesn't meet her man's sexual needs it leaves him with no ethical solution to his problem
I think its important, its great to have that connection.
god just have sex it makes ur realtion better
How do you deal with your spouse lying to you about something they know you dissaprove of?
And they keep promising never again, but you keep catching them again and again. They know it hurts you so much, they keep promising not anymore. Remember, its a spouse - so a lot of my life is invested here.How do you deal with your spouse lying to you about something they know you dissaprove of?
Lying about anything in a relationship is tough. Once your caught at it, it breeds distrust and insecurities which is very hard to rebuild. And if there lying here makes you wonder what else there lieing about. Depending on the severity of what your talking about you have to decide whether it's worth giving up what you have invested.How do you deal with your spouse lying to you about something they know you dissaprove of?
Hello Cakers I understand you situation , but one thing I may not be clear of though is the act on which you keep catching your spouse on ?
Never the less I will try my best to help you as possible as I could . Lets say maybe just the thing you keep catching your spouse on is may be say pornography, lets take that example for the start .
The first thing you need to find is the reason for him doing what he is doing that you keep catching him doing . Try to make him as comfortable as possible to tell you the reason why he does what he do . Then try your best to be understanding and calm as you are mainly concerned about the safety of your marriage .
In most cases women are not reluctant enough to communicate with their spouses about such matters as sex and stuff . you may discover that basically the lack of proper communication about this may even lead to sseparation. So try to talk to him about your feelings towards his actions , then let him tell you exactly what it is that attract him to doing what he does that you are not able to do for him ?
then you may come to discover that aafter allyour spouse was just not reluctant to talk openly to you about sex .
I am not saying that what he does was sexually related since you were not openly clear about your details . and good luck .
Is he lying about the cost of something saying it was $1000 when infact it was $1999 or is he lying about something that could really impact on your life.
If it's financial - you can take control of the money
If it's his whereabouts - you could ask that he not go out to such and such anymore.
Some people lie out of habit. It is something they learnt and it worked as a child and they continue to do it. They dont like confrontation. Is he a placid guy trying to avoid an argument.
Consider how bad his lies are. Does he lie about the cost of something or have you caught him out lying about female company.
Look at your values. Some wise people may say a lie is a lie and to leave but I think some lies I can look beyond because I have invested so much in my marriage too
Shame they don't feel the same way about you really isn't it, that as you're married a lot is invested.
You either put up with it or you don't. It's clear that you are never going to win and it's clear that your spouse doesn't really care about your feelings. We don't know what they are lying about so it could be that you disapprove of something that most people wouldn't mind.....but i still think if something really upsets your spouse it's something you shouldn't do regardless of whether other people wouldn't mind.
Cant you tell us what it is ?
You either accept that you married a liar, you evaluate whether or not that thing you disapprove of is really worth the hassle of getting upset over, you consider marriage counseling, or you move on.
I can tell you repeated lying wouldn't sit well with me, ';life invested'; or not. Lying is showing disrespect for you and the relationship...and I'd wonder what else was I being lied to about? No trust in a relationship, no relationship.
Something tells me this is of a sexual nature, correct? If so, it could be an addiction. I strongly recommend a counselor to work through this issue, because you can't stay with someone who is going to lie like this constantly, and do hurtful things knowingly.
They say speed kills. Well, lying and secrets kill relationships. I'm going to guess and say that he's promising to not look at porn and keeps doing so. If this is what's going on then he's going to need professional help because he's addicted. Best.
Lying about anything in a relationship is tough. Once your caught at it, it breeds distrust and insecurities which is very hard to rebuild. And if there lying here makes you wonder what else there lieing about. Depending on the severity of what your talking about you have to decide whether it's worth giving up what you have invested.How do you deal with your spouse lying to you about something they know you dissaprove of?
Hello Cakers I understand you situation , but one thing I may not be clear of though is the act on which you keep catching your spouse on ?
Never the less I will try my best to help you as possible as I could . Lets say maybe just the thing you keep catching your spouse on is may be say pornography, lets take that example for the start .
The first thing you need to find is the reason for him doing what he is doing that you keep catching him doing . Try to make him as comfortable as possible to tell you the reason why he does what he do . Then try your best to be understanding and calm as you are mainly concerned about the safety of your marriage .
In most cases women are not reluctant enough to communicate with their spouses about such matters as sex and stuff . you may discover that basically the lack of proper communication about this may even lead to sseparation. So try to talk to him about your feelings towards his actions , then let him tell you exactly what it is that attract him to doing what he does that you are not able to do for him ?
then you may come to discover that aafter allyour spouse was just not reluctant to talk openly to you about sex .
I am not saying that what he does was sexually related since you were not openly clear about your details . and good luck .
Is he lying about the cost of something saying it was $1000 when infact it was $1999 or is he lying about something that could really impact on your life.
If it's financial - you can take control of the money
If it's his whereabouts - you could ask that he not go out to such and such anymore.
Some people lie out of habit. It is something they learnt and it worked as a child and they continue to do it. They dont like confrontation. Is he a placid guy trying to avoid an argument.
Consider how bad his lies are. Does he lie about the cost of something or have you caught him out lying about female company.
Look at your values. Some wise people may say a lie is a lie and to leave but I think some lies I can look beyond because I have invested so much in my marriage too
Shame they don't feel the same way about you really isn't it, that as you're married a lot is invested.
You either put up with it or you don't. It's clear that you are never going to win and it's clear that your spouse doesn't really care about your feelings. We don't know what they are lying about so it could be that you disapprove of something that most people wouldn't mind.....but i still think if something really upsets your spouse it's something you shouldn't do regardless of whether other people wouldn't mind.
Cant you tell us what it is ?
You either accept that you married a liar, you evaluate whether or not that thing you disapprove of is really worth the hassle of getting upset over, you consider marriage counseling, or you move on.
I can tell you repeated lying wouldn't sit well with me, ';life invested'; or not. Lying is showing disrespect for you and the relationship...and I'd wonder what else was I being lied to about? No trust in a relationship, no relationship.
Something tells me this is of a sexual nature, correct? If so, it could be an addiction. I strongly recommend a counselor to work through this issue, because you can't stay with someone who is going to lie like this constantly, and do hurtful things knowingly.
They say speed kills. Well, lying and secrets kill relationships. I'm going to guess and say that he's promising to not look at porn and keeps doing so. If this is what's going on then he's going to need professional help because he's addicted. Best.
Is a surviving spouse legally required to pay off the deceased spouse's medical bills?
My mom died in Sept 2007. She left no estate. My dad has no assets besides his monthly social seciruti. Is he legally responsible for her bills? (medical, car loan, credit cards, etc)Is a surviving spouse legally required to pay off the deceased spouse's medical bills?
I'm sorry for you loss.
No, he is not responsible. Her estate(assets) are. If there are no assets in her name, or joint assets, then he doesn't have to pay anything. He just needs to inform them that she has past away and has no estate. They get to eat the cost of what insurance doesn't pay. Remember, if they had bank accounts, a house, cars, etc.. in both their names, or in her name, then she does indeed have assets and they could come after those. He will not get to keep a car that is in her name if he doesn't keep up the payments. Same with any other items she was paying on. He really needs to at least speak with a estate lawyer over the phone to get some real legal advice. Many lawyers will answer easy questions like this for nothing if you approach them right. Even if he does need to retain a lawyer this is open and shut and should cost very little-a one time visit for may an hour or two.
Remember, a individual is the only one responsible for their own debts. Even if you are married only you are responsible for your debts. The exceptions are assets that are jointly owned or debts that are jointly entered into. Since most married couples both sign for many debts and jointly own numberous things she may have more of an estate than you realize.Is a surviving spouse legally required to pay off the deceased spouse's medical bills?
Yes he is. If he's financially not able, then he needs to contact the medical providers %26amp; explain his financial situation. He is liable though.make up brushes makeup hair
I'm sorry for you loss.
No, he is not responsible. Her estate(assets) are. If there are no assets in her name, or joint assets, then he doesn't have to pay anything. He just needs to inform them that she has past away and has no estate. They get to eat the cost of what insurance doesn't pay. Remember, if they had bank accounts, a house, cars, etc.. in both their names, or in her name, then she does indeed have assets and they could come after those. He will not get to keep a car that is in her name if he doesn't keep up the payments. Same with any other items she was paying on. He really needs to at least speak with a estate lawyer over the phone to get some real legal advice. Many lawyers will answer easy questions like this for nothing if you approach them right. Even if he does need to retain a lawyer this is open and shut and should cost very little-a one time visit for may an hour or two.
Remember, a individual is the only one responsible for their own debts. Even if you are married only you are responsible for your debts. The exceptions are assets that are jointly owned or debts that are jointly entered into. Since most married couples both sign for many debts and jointly own numberous things she may have more of an estate than you realize.Is a surviving spouse legally required to pay off the deceased spouse's medical bills?
Yes he is. If he's financially not able, then he needs to contact the medical providers %26amp; explain his financial situation. He is liable though.
What attracted you to your spouse besides looks?
It's like yeah a lot of women look good, but that鈥檚 not a reason for me to want to make you the one that I settle down with, trust, be my other half, the mother of my kids. It has to be something deeper than looks.What attracted you to your spouse besides looks?
I'm attracted to my guy's intellect, the diversity of the music he listens to, the fact that he has passion in something, and the goals he hopes to accomplish. More importantly I LOVE the way he treats me and romances me, how he makes me feel like I'm more than enough, how he has changed his life to be a better person, and of course how he is grounded in God. I know that no matter what life throws our way, he'll be there. He's just a blessing that I am thankful for.What attracted you to your spouse besides looks?
he was funny an honest. Trustwothy a gentleman.
WELL IT SURE WASN'T HER LOUD MOUTH.
I'm attracted to my guy's intellect, the diversity of the music he listens to, the fact that he has passion in something, and the goals he hopes to accomplish. More importantly I LOVE the way he treats me and romances me, how he makes me feel like I'm more than enough, how he has changed his life to be a better person, and of course how he is grounded in God. I know that no matter what life throws our way, he'll be there. He's just a blessing that I am thankful for.What attracted you to your spouse besides looks?
he was funny an honest. Trustwothy a gentleman.
WELL IT SURE WASN'T HER LOUD MOUTH.
How do you get your spouse to help pick out baby names?
Im having a hard time getting my husband to not change the subject when i ask him about baby names, how do i get him to just give me some input on the naming of our child?How do you get your spouse to help pick out baby names?
I gave my husband a list of names I liked and told him to check or circle the ones he liked. If you do 90% of the work in the beginning, you might be able to get him to open up about the kinds of names he likes.
He probably doesn't want to get into a fight with you over the name; either that, or simply choosing the name makes the baby 'real' to him and that's a scary prospect for some people.How do you get your spouse to help pick out baby names?
My advice would be to not ask for his help unless you are going to truly treasure his answer. Personally, I've learned not to ask my husband anything that I really don't want the answer to. (paint color, tile samples, kids issues, etc.) because the minute he gives an opinion, I hate it %26amp; do my own thing anyhow. Pick a name YOU love %26amp; don't worry about it. Save your battle for who's going to get up in the middle of the night %26amp; feed %26amp; change the baby. Bigger fish to fry my dear! Good luck!
Start suggesting a bunch that you know he'll hate then he'll have no choice but to come up with something better which gives you more options and shows you what he's looking for.
Don't push the issue, it'll really turn him off. Some men just can't be bothered with picking names %26amp; why, I don't know. Nevertheless, choose names you like, write the complete names out on paper %26amp; put them aside. In time, your husband will ask you about the name, then you can tell him what names you like. I'm sure he'll let you know if there's a name he strongly dislikes. Good luck.
Stop pestering him. If he doesn't have an opinion, then name the baby yourself. Wish I could have named my kids. I didn't have a say with either one.
well here's a shot in the dark- pick the ugliest name that u know to see if he rebuttals then say to him, ';that's gonna be the baby's name if u don't start giving me some suggestions.';
and if that doesn't work then i don't know what else to tell u. good luck hon. and congrats...
He might think that is something you should do and does not want to be bothered by it. Why not sit him down and ask him what the problem is, let him know you would like for both of you to come up with a name. If he is still not interested, then pick the name yourself.
My husband wouldn't help me either. I kept coming up with name ideas and he would only say he didn't really like them, but when I asked for his input he wouldn't have any ideas. So I stuck with the first name that I really liked and kept trying different middle names. I finally found a middle name that I just loved and I wrote it down and showed it to him. He looked at it and said he liked it. That was the first name suggestion he liked, he never even liked the first name until I paired it with that middle name.
Just say...well if it doesn't matter to you then I'll be naming our baby
I would ask him why he does this. He may feel that it's too early to think about that. My husband didn't really want to discuss it until we knew what we were having (why disagree about a boy name if you're having a girl?).
I think open and honest communication will work best.
tell him that you've picked out a perfect name.. and say a name that is horrible.. like fred or wilbur.. I'm sure he will gladly put some impute into helping you
Pick some awful name like Norbit or Edberg or something like that.
Be subtle.Don't act too desperate.
Make it seem natural.Do some research on some really bad names so when you present them as possibilities you will show that your serious.
What if the two of you looked on the Internet together at various baby name websites? I like babynamesworld.com. Or the two of you could go to the bookstore and sit in those comfy chairs to look. Or if you hear a name you like, pitch it to him and see what his thought are. If I were you I would explain to him that it is important to you that he be a part of the process of choosing a name for your baby. Hope this helps! Good luck and Congratulations! :)
Pick one you know he hates and say ';That's it! That's the name'; and then he will want to have a say.
Guys are weird that way, mine ran everytime I took the book out. I ended up making a list of about 20 names that I liked and I gave it to him. He was forced to pick which ones were his favorite. Needless to say, he actually went through the list and had comments about every single one!
Just an idea.
I gave my husband a list of names I liked and told him to check or circle the ones he liked. If you do 90% of the work in the beginning, you might be able to get him to open up about the kinds of names he likes.
He probably doesn't want to get into a fight with you over the name; either that, or simply choosing the name makes the baby 'real' to him and that's a scary prospect for some people.How do you get your spouse to help pick out baby names?
My advice would be to not ask for his help unless you are going to truly treasure his answer. Personally, I've learned not to ask my husband anything that I really don't want the answer to. (paint color, tile samples, kids issues, etc.) because the minute he gives an opinion, I hate it %26amp; do my own thing anyhow. Pick a name YOU love %26amp; don't worry about it. Save your battle for who's going to get up in the middle of the night %26amp; feed %26amp; change the baby. Bigger fish to fry my dear! Good luck!
Start suggesting a bunch that you know he'll hate then he'll have no choice but to come up with something better which gives you more options and shows you what he's looking for.
Don't push the issue, it'll really turn him off. Some men just can't be bothered with picking names %26amp; why, I don't know. Nevertheless, choose names you like, write the complete names out on paper %26amp; put them aside. In time, your husband will ask you about the name, then you can tell him what names you like. I'm sure he'll let you know if there's a name he strongly dislikes. Good luck.
Stop pestering him. If he doesn't have an opinion, then name the baby yourself. Wish I could have named my kids. I didn't have a say with either one.
well here's a shot in the dark- pick the ugliest name that u know to see if he rebuttals then say to him, ';that's gonna be the baby's name if u don't start giving me some suggestions.';
and if that doesn't work then i don't know what else to tell u. good luck hon. and congrats...
He might think that is something you should do and does not want to be bothered by it. Why not sit him down and ask him what the problem is, let him know you would like for both of you to come up with a name. If he is still not interested, then pick the name yourself.
My husband wouldn't help me either. I kept coming up with name ideas and he would only say he didn't really like them, but when I asked for his input he wouldn't have any ideas. So I stuck with the first name that I really liked and kept trying different middle names. I finally found a middle name that I just loved and I wrote it down and showed it to him. He looked at it and said he liked it. That was the first name suggestion he liked, he never even liked the first name until I paired it with that middle name.
Just say...well if it doesn't matter to you then I'll be naming our baby
I would ask him why he does this. He may feel that it's too early to think about that. My husband didn't really want to discuss it until we knew what we were having (why disagree about a boy name if you're having a girl?).
I think open and honest communication will work best.
tell him that you've picked out a perfect name.. and say a name that is horrible.. like fred or wilbur.. I'm sure he will gladly put some impute into helping you
Pick some awful name like Norbit or Edberg or something like that.
Be subtle.Don't act too desperate.
Make it seem natural.Do some research on some really bad names so when you present them as possibilities you will show that your serious.
What if the two of you looked on the Internet together at various baby name websites? I like babynamesworld.com. Or the two of you could go to the bookstore and sit in those comfy chairs to look. Or if you hear a name you like, pitch it to him and see what his thought are. If I were you I would explain to him that it is important to you that he be a part of the process of choosing a name for your baby. Hope this helps! Good luck and Congratulations! :)
Pick one you know he hates and say ';That's it! That's the name'; and then he will want to have a say.
Guys are weird that way, mine ran everytime I took the book out. I ended up making a list of about 20 names that I liked and I gave it to him. He was forced to pick which ones were his favorite. Needless to say, he actually went through the list and had comments about every single one!
Just an idea.
What are the ten most important things you look for in a spouse/significant other?
Likewise, what are the ten least important things you look for/ ten things you wouldn't want?What are the ten most important things you look for in a spouse/significant other?
over obsessive
trust issues
crazy
mean
abusive
not sweet
careless
dishonestWhat are the ten most important things you look for in a spouse/significant other?
First you want to know what is on YOUR list before you ask others. If you value things like reading, you want someone who reads. You make your list, put the things that you wouldn't tolerate to be different first and stick with them, then you add things that aren't that important. Spend a season with this person, dating, seeing that you or that girl do not get angry easily or upset if you or she break the date. Is this person positive or negative about everything? Some negative is ok but most of the day, the time, negative can really bring you down, not good environment to bring kids up in either. Stick to your list, do not expect people to change, they don't. You don't always need to have your way, compromise is important. But seeing them in good times, when they are happy and bad times to see how they accept ';no'; is very important. Do they go and constantly return things at the store, they are not happy with anything? Will they be happy with you, after the honeymoon is over? Do you constantly have to spend $$ on them, to show that you love them. If they are happy always, there is something wrong, it won't last forever. Everybody gets upset at times, over big things, over little things, but how do they accept rejection, unhappy moments.
Make your list on what you can't accept anything but. Then make the list that is good, but you will bend a little. If she/he is always thinking of self, selfish that isn't good.
over obsessive
trust issues
crazy
mean
abusive
not sweet
careless
dishonestWhat are the ten most important things you look for in a spouse/significant other?
First you want to know what is on YOUR list before you ask others. If you value things like reading, you want someone who reads. You make your list, put the things that you wouldn't tolerate to be different first and stick with them, then you add things that aren't that important. Spend a season with this person, dating, seeing that you or that girl do not get angry easily or upset if you or she break the date. Is this person positive or negative about everything? Some negative is ok but most of the day, the time, negative can really bring you down, not good environment to bring kids up in either. Stick to your list, do not expect people to change, they don't. You don't always need to have your way, compromise is important. But seeing them in good times, when they are happy and bad times to see how they accept ';no'; is very important. Do they go and constantly return things at the store, they are not happy with anything? Will they be happy with you, after the honeymoon is over? Do you constantly have to spend $$ on them, to show that you love them. If they are happy always, there is something wrong, it won't last forever. Everybody gets upset at times, over big things, over little things, but how do they accept rejection, unhappy moments.
Make your list on what you can't accept anything but. Then make the list that is good, but you will bend a little. If she/he is always thinking of self, selfish that isn't good.
Has anyone that filed injured spouse received their stimulus direct deposit yet?
When I called the IRS, they stated that if you selected Direct Deposit orginally on the 1040 then your stimulus should still get direct deposited. Crossing fingers...Has anyone that filed injured spouse received their stimulus direct deposit yet?
Probably none.
Injured spouse forms take 6 extra weeks to process and the stimulus checks probably won't get cut until 2 weeks after that...and then in all likelihood will be sent as checks.Has anyone that filed injured spouse received their stimulus direct deposit yet?
It is not related to your filing status; it is related to the last two digits of your SSN.
Injured spouse claims would delay it.
Probably none.
Injured spouse forms take 6 extra weeks to process and the stimulus checks probably won't get cut until 2 weeks after that...and then in all likelihood will be sent as checks.Has anyone that filed injured spouse received their stimulus direct deposit yet?
It is not related to your filing status; it is related to the last two digits of your SSN.
Injured spouse claims would delay it.
How can i convince my spouse to have a baby?
I know he wants one but he keeps saying its not a good time but we both work, have a good home and are stable.How can i convince my spouse to have a baby?
If you need to convince him, then it is not the right time. You both need to feel ready. It's worth waiting for. :-)How can i convince my spouse to have a baby?
He may want a kid but obviously he doesnt feel to secure about it. I would say wait it out. It is so much better for you both to be ready and wiling to have a baby then it is to have a baby when hes not fully ready. I know it sucks to wait and be patient about this kind of subject but try to do so. Trust me you will love having a husband wanting a ready to be a dad then a dad just caught of gaurd and not fully focused on the family and the kid.
I saw an answer to a similar question by Jerry Hall (Mick Jagger's ex) in the Times a couple of weeks ago. She said that if it was left up to men the human race would have become extinct.
If you are ready %26amp; you think you can afford it then go for it.
Men are generally rather weak/self centred creatures %26amp; they often get cold feet when they think about having babies.
I know a lovely woman who grew up in a large family %26amp; who loves children. She got married understanding they would have a family but meanwhile she worked %26amp; made a successful career. Then her husband said he'd changed his mind %26amp; didn't want kids. She didn't feel she could go ahead %26amp; she loved him so stuck with him. After 20 years he left her for a much younger woman with whom he has 4 children. My friend eventually re-married but it was too late for her to have kids.
I have heard many similar stories.
Spend the next 12 months thinking it over %26amp; preparing things %26amp; it it seems right then just get pregnant.
If you don't feel able to do this %26amp; he is still unwilling then ditch him %26amp; find someone who does want a family with you. Don't be left alone without husband and children
Good Luck
Good Luck.
maybe there's something else that he is worried about, talk to him about it without putting pressure on him
ask him and let him know you'll understand
then support him and ask him to support you as well in wanting a little one
A child is not a toy, after it is born must think how to educate and what values to believe .. the family is an important value as a religion and as the ability to love the world .. must learn to believe in their aspirations and make him a man or a woman capable of living in the world .. failure would be something unforgivable ..
';Convincing'; someone to have a baby can have disastrous results. Wait till you are both ready. Remember, it is not a priority for most men. He will be aware that a baby is a passion killer - for decades - you girls only seem to realize that once the baby arrives.
Do not be sneaky about it. If he feels it's not a good time then wait. It takes two and you both need to be on equal footing to be fair. If he wanted to do a major change in life and you thought it wasn't the right time you would want to be respected...right?
You dont have to sort of convince him - that understanding needs to come from both sides! Discuss this with him - give it some more time until everything is settled %26amp; see where you are! Dont rush into it..
Don't try to convince him If you get pregnant and he's not ready he will end up resenting you and the baby Wait until you both want it
LMAO
That old chestnut
Listen honey he don't want no sprogs with you.
take advantage of him when he is asleep or ask a workmate
If you need to convince him, then it is not the right time. You both need to feel ready. It's worth waiting for. :-)How can i convince my spouse to have a baby?
He may want a kid but obviously he doesnt feel to secure about it. I would say wait it out. It is so much better for you both to be ready and wiling to have a baby then it is to have a baby when hes not fully ready. I know it sucks to wait and be patient about this kind of subject but try to do so. Trust me you will love having a husband wanting a ready to be a dad then a dad just caught of gaurd and not fully focused on the family and the kid.
I saw an answer to a similar question by Jerry Hall (Mick Jagger's ex) in the Times a couple of weeks ago. She said that if it was left up to men the human race would have become extinct.
If you are ready %26amp; you think you can afford it then go for it.
Men are generally rather weak/self centred creatures %26amp; they often get cold feet when they think about having babies.
I know a lovely woman who grew up in a large family %26amp; who loves children. She got married understanding they would have a family but meanwhile she worked %26amp; made a successful career. Then her husband said he'd changed his mind %26amp; didn't want kids. She didn't feel she could go ahead %26amp; she loved him so stuck with him. After 20 years he left her for a much younger woman with whom he has 4 children. My friend eventually re-married but it was too late for her to have kids.
I have heard many similar stories.
Spend the next 12 months thinking it over %26amp; preparing things %26amp; it it seems right then just get pregnant.
If you don't feel able to do this %26amp; he is still unwilling then ditch him %26amp; find someone who does want a family with you. Don't be left alone without husband and children
Good Luck
Good Luck.
maybe there's something else that he is worried about, talk to him about it without putting pressure on him
ask him and let him know you'll understand
then support him and ask him to support you as well in wanting a little one
A child is not a toy, after it is born must think how to educate and what values to believe .. the family is an important value as a religion and as the ability to love the world .. must learn to believe in their aspirations and make him a man or a woman capable of living in the world .. failure would be something unforgivable ..
';Convincing'; someone to have a baby can have disastrous results. Wait till you are both ready. Remember, it is not a priority for most men. He will be aware that a baby is a passion killer - for decades - you girls only seem to realize that once the baby arrives.
Do not be sneaky about it. If he feels it's not a good time then wait. It takes two and you both need to be on equal footing to be fair. If he wanted to do a major change in life and you thought it wasn't the right time you would want to be respected...right?
You dont have to sort of convince him - that understanding needs to come from both sides! Discuss this with him - give it some more time until everything is settled %26amp; see where you are! Dont rush into it..
Don't try to convince him If you get pregnant and he's not ready he will end up resenting you and the baby Wait until you both want it
LMAO
That old chestnut
Listen honey he don't want no sprogs with you.
take advantage of him when he is asleep or ask a workmate
What are the ten most important things you look for in a spouse/significant other?
Likewise, what are the ten least important things you look for/ ten things you wouldn't want?What are the ten most important things you look for in a spouse/significant other?
over obsessive
trust issues
crazy
mean
abusive
not sweet
careless
dishonestWhat are the ten most important things you look for in a spouse/significant other?
First you want to know what is on YOUR list before you ask others. If you value things like reading, you want someone who reads. You make your list, put the things that you wouldn't tolerate to be different first and stick with them, then you add things that aren't that important. Spend a season with this person, dating, seeing that you or that girl do not get angry easily or upset if you or she break the date. Is this person positive or negative about everything? Some negative is ok but most of the day, the time, negative can really bring you down, not good environment to bring kids up in either. Stick to your list, do not expect people to change, they don't. You don't always need to have your way, compromise is important. But seeing them in good times, when they are happy and bad times to see how they accept ';no'; is very important. Do they go and constantly return things at the store, they are not happy with anything? Will they be happy with you, after the honeymoon is over? Do you constantly have to spend $$ on them, to show that you love them. If they are happy always, there is something wrong, it won't last forever. Everybody gets upset at times, over big things, over little things, but how do they accept rejection, unhappy moments.
Make your list on what you can't accept anything but. Then make the list that is good, but you will bend a little. If she/he is always thinking of self, selfish that isn't good.make up brushes makeup hair
over obsessive
trust issues
crazy
mean
abusive
not sweet
careless
dishonestWhat are the ten most important things you look for in a spouse/significant other?
First you want to know what is on YOUR list before you ask others. If you value things like reading, you want someone who reads. You make your list, put the things that you wouldn't tolerate to be different first and stick with them, then you add things that aren't that important. Spend a season with this person, dating, seeing that you or that girl do not get angry easily or upset if you or she break the date. Is this person positive or negative about everything? Some negative is ok but most of the day, the time, negative can really bring you down, not good environment to bring kids up in either. Stick to your list, do not expect people to change, they don't. You don't always need to have your way, compromise is important. But seeing them in good times, when they are happy and bad times to see how they accept ';no'; is very important. Do they go and constantly return things at the store, they are not happy with anything? Will they be happy with you, after the honeymoon is over? Do you constantly have to spend $$ on them, to show that you love them. If they are happy always, there is something wrong, it won't last forever. Everybody gets upset at times, over big things, over little things, but how do they accept rejection, unhappy moments.
Make your list on what you can't accept anything but. Then make the list that is good, but you will bend a little. If she/he is always thinking of self, selfish that isn't good.
Is a surviving spouse legally required to pay off the deceased spouse's medical bills?
My mom died in Sept 2007. She left no estate. My dad has no assets besides his monthly social seciruti. Is he legally responsible for her bills? (medical, car loan, credit cards, etc)Is a surviving spouse legally required to pay off the deceased spouse's medical bills?
I'm sorry for you loss.
No, he is not responsible. Her estate(assets) are. If there are no assets in her name, or joint assets, then he doesn't have to pay anything. He just needs to inform them that she has past away and has no estate. They get to eat the cost of what insurance doesn't pay. Remember, if they had bank accounts, a house, cars, etc.. in both their names, or in her name, then she does indeed have assets and they could come after those. He will not get to keep a car that is in her name if he doesn't keep up the payments. Same with any other items she was paying on. He really needs to at least speak with a estate lawyer over the phone to get some real legal advice. Many lawyers will answer easy questions like this for nothing if you approach them right. Even if he does need to retain a lawyer this is open and shut and should cost very little-a one time visit for may an hour or two.
Remember, a individual is the only one responsible for their own debts. Even if you are married only you are responsible for your debts. The exceptions are assets that are jointly owned or debts that are jointly entered into. Since most married couples both sign for many debts and jointly own numberous things she may have more of an estate than you realize.Is a surviving spouse legally required to pay off the deceased spouse's medical bills?
Yes he is. If he's financially not able, then he needs to contact the medical providers %26amp; explain his financial situation. He is liable though.
I'm sorry for you loss.
No, he is not responsible. Her estate(assets) are. If there are no assets in her name, or joint assets, then he doesn't have to pay anything. He just needs to inform them that she has past away and has no estate. They get to eat the cost of what insurance doesn't pay. Remember, if they had bank accounts, a house, cars, etc.. in both their names, or in her name, then she does indeed have assets and they could come after those. He will not get to keep a car that is in her name if he doesn't keep up the payments. Same with any other items she was paying on. He really needs to at least speak with a estate lawyer over the phone to get some real legal advice. Many lawyers will answer easy questions like this for nothing if you approach them right. Even if he does need to retain a lawyer this is open and shut and should cost very little-a one time visit for may an hour or two.
Remember, a individual is the only one responsible for their own debts. Even if you are married only you are responsible for your debts. The exceptions are assets that are jointly owned or debts that are jointly entered into. Since most married couples both sign for many debts and jointly own numberous things she may have more of an estate than you realize.Is a surviving spouse legally required to pay off the deceased spouse's medical bills?
Yes he is. If he's financially not able, then he needs to contact the medical providers %26amp; explain his financial situation. He is liable though.
Do Republicans ever take their spouse out to dinner and a show?
The way they complain about the Obama's it's like they are jealous. Maybe they wanted to be invited to dinner by the President.
Whine whiine whine, can't they do anything else.Do Republicans ever take their spouse out to dinner and a show?
Someone always has to criticize Republicans %26amp; Christians. Why?Do Republicans ever take their spouse out to dinner and a show?
Wow, this question is nonsense. I am sure that Republicans take their spouses or significant others out to dinner and a show, but THEY pay for it. It is the tax payers paying for Obamas extravagant night out that was over $24,000 dollars. Yeah I am jealous of Obama, I wish I could go out on other peoples dime. Not only is he going out for an extravagant night out, but its in a time that everyone is calling such a crisis. Why don't you actually look into things and TRY, I know its hard for you, but TRY to understand peoples reasoning.
They have a right to *****. It's annoying how many people are worshiping the ';messiah';, especially the media. Who cares if he goes out to a show and dinner. I don't want to hear about it. What the hell has he done besides put this country on the fast track for socialism and increase the federal deficit?
I'm a Republican, I'm 24 and enjoy being single. I like my freedom, my truck, hunting, fishing, and casual sex when I feel like it. But to answer your question, the President would be smart not to invite me to dinner because he'd get a big earful of Nathan
They go to a show first then the dinner.
(the show)
Adult Sunday School 9:00am
Regular Sunday service 10:00am
(dinner)
Golden Corral 11:30am
ALL THE TIME...... ONLY WE PAY FOR IT OURSELVES!!
WAKE UP!
YOUR TYPICAL LIBERAL SPIN IS SICKENING.
WHY SHOULD TAXPAYERS PAY FOR OBAMA';S NITE OUT?
Yes and since we work for a living we pay for it ourselves. Obama is suffering from a problem that the southern plantation owners had a name for.
Many republicans are into very kinky sex acts with younger men and prostitutes, but probably never their wives.
Hank Hill however, took his wife Peg out to the square dancing place every once in a while.
Republicans are whining? But you are whining about the Republicans right now. What's your excuse as a Democrat?
Yeah I do the difference is though I pay for it and don't freeload off money that does not belong to me in the first place.
Yes, but we don't blow through taxpayer money like Obama does. You liberal fascists bitched about McCain's shoes but not Obama's countless private jet trips and cocktail parties.
i would if you sent me some money for date .
I love outback
Yes we take them out, unlike Liberals we don't get food stamps.
no they just play footsies with other guys in the mens bathroom
Whine whiine whine, can't they do anything else.Do Republicans ever take their spouse out to dinner and a show?
Someone always has to criticize Republicans %26amp; Christians. Why?Do Republicans ever take their spouse out to dinner and a show?
Wow, this question is nonsense. I am sure that Republicans take their spouses or significant others out to dinner and a show, but THEY pay for it. It is the tax payers paying for Obamas extravagant night out that was over $24,000 dollars. Yeah I am jealous of Obama, I wish I could go out on other peoples dime. Not only is he going out for an extravagant night out, but its in a time that everyone is calling such a crisis. Why don't you actually look into things and TRY, I know its hard for you, but TRY to understand peoples reasoning.
They have a right to *****. It's annoying how many people are worshiping the ';messiah';, especially the media. Who cares if he goes out to a show and dinner. I don't want to hear about it. What the hell has he done besides put this country on the fast track for socialism and increase the federal deficit?
I'm a Republican, I'm 24 and enjoy being single. I like my freedom, my truck, hunting, fishing, and casual sex when I feel like it. But to answer your question, the President would be smart not to invite me to dinner because he'd get a big earful of Nathan
They go to a show first then the dinner.
(the show)
Adult Sunday School 9:00am
Regular Sunday service 10:00am
(dinner)
Golden Corral 11:30am
ALL THE TIME...... ONLY WE PAY FOR IT OURSELVES!!
WAKE UP!
YOUR TYPICAL LIBERAL SPIN IS SICKENING.
WHY SHOULD TAXPAYERS PAY FOR OBAMA';S NITE OUT?
Yes and since we work for a living we pay for it ourselves. Obama is suffering from a problem that the southern plantation owners had a name for.
Many republicans are into very kinky sex acts with younger men and prostitutes, but probably never their wives.
Hank Hill however, took his wife Peg out to the square dancing place every once in a while.
Republicans are whining? But you are whining about the Republicans right now. What's your excuse as a Democrat?
Yeah I do the difference is though I pay for it and don't freeload off money that does not belong to me in the first place.
Yes, but we don't blow through taxpayer money like Obama does. You liberal fascists bitched about McCain's shoes but not Obama's countless private jet trips and cocktail parties.
i would if you sent me some money for date .
I love outback
Yes we take them out, unlike Liberals we don't get food stamps.
no they just play footsies with other guys in the mens bathroom
How can I get my spouse to be less of clutered?
It drives me nuts. I have to spend all day picking up after her, before I can even start to clean.How can I get my spouse to be less of clutered?
Treat her like child. Put all her mess in a box, tell her if it isn't put away you will throw it away. Carry out your threat if she doesn't put her stuff away. I know it sounds a bit harsh but if she is going to act like a baby leaving mess in a shared space then you need to make a point.How can I get my spouse to be less of clutered?
That's gotta be annoying. I can't stand that, either! You can either leave the stuff on the floor until she realizes she should pick up after herself, talk to her about it, or throw it away if she doesn't pick it up.
You need to talk to her about this. Also, stop picking up after her, maybe she will get tired of looking at her own mess, and pick it up herself.
Throw out what she leaves on the floor.
you clean????????
are you gay?
and cluttered has 2 t's
i feel your pain! we're in the same boat.
Treat her like child. Put all her mess in a box, tell her if it isn't put away you will throw it away. Carry out your threat if she doesn't put her stuff away. I know it sounds a bit harsh but if she is going to act like a baby leaving mess in a shared space then you need to make a point.How can I get my spouse to be less of clutered?
That's gotta be annoying. I can't stand that, either! You can either leave the stuff on the floor until she realizes she should pick up after herself, talk to her about it, or throw it away if she doesn't pick it up.
You need to talk to her about this. Also, stop picking up after her, maybe she will get tired of looking at her own mess, and pick it up herself.
Throw out what she leaves on the floor.
you clean????????
are you gay?
and cluttered has 2 t's
i feel your pain! we're in the same boat.
How should I tell my spouse I want us to become swingers?
I lost my virginity to my husband. We married very young right after college. I have had feelings like I should have had more sexually partners and more experience.How should I tell my spouse I want us to become swingers?
Hopefully you've ignored all the idiots with their false morality rants.
My wife and I have been swinging for five years, and have never had a rough patch in our whole marriage. We swing because it is fun, not because we're bored with each other, or something is lacking. It's a recreational activity. Think of tennis for example. You and your hubby can play tennis for hours on end, but sometimes, a game of pairs is a fun diversion.
Swinging is only for a rock solid, honest, marriage. Swinging can't hurt a marriage like that, but will be fatal to anything less.
Swingers have a lower divorce rate, and a lower rate of STD's than any other portion of the public. All the morality cops out there suffer a 60% divorce rate. Nice, huh?
Here's a couple ways to broach the subject. You might say you stumbled across the topic of swinging right here on Yahoo Answers, and being curious, you looked at a website about swinging. (Here's one: http://www.swinglifestyle.com/ )
If you have ever seen the TV show ';Swingtown,'; you might talk about that.
If he shows any interest, I would recommend going to a swing party, only to watch, not to participate. Meet people, mingle, but don't play with anyone else. See how you feel about it, and talk it over thoroughly when you get home. That's what my wife and I did, we didn't play with anyone else until about our fourth visit to the club.
If you try swinging, make your rules, and stick to them no matter what. Never change rules in the heat of the moment. There's always time to talk about rule changes later when it's just the two of you.
A good book on the subject, is ';Doin One For The Team,'; by Simbaxxx. http://www.amazon.com/Doin-One-Team-Swin…
Good luck. You're honest enough to know you have fantasies, and intelligent enough to explore them.How should I tell my spouse I want us to become swingers?
Wow, this is incredible...I've had both a tough day AND tough questions to answer!
Before starting, I feel I should warn you: sometimes a thing isn't all it's cracked up to be. I've heard a variety of stories about couples who decide to have ';swinging'; relationships. Those stories are a minefield scattered with instances of damaged and ruined relationships. Keep in mind that what you're considering is one of those ';almost-irrevocable'; things in life: once you even start down that path, it will be well-near impossible for you to go back to ';the way things were,'; even if you decide you don't like swinging.
OK, now that I've warned you, on with the good stuff. This is actually a very tricky proposition with no good approach; only relatively easier ones. If you both watch adult movies together, you can try slipping in a tape with ';partner-swapping.'; Take some time, do your research, and get a good one: make sure it involves well set-up characters so that it seems true-to-life. Privately gauge his reaction carefully. If he likes it, try getting another and, if he asks you about it, just say you like watching that sort of thing; it excites you. That's probably going to open the door. If it doesn't, you're just going to have to bite the bullet and ask him what he thinks about what they're doing (swinging). That will definitely do the trick.
If you don't have an ';in'; like this one, you may just have to ask him directly. Keep your approach angled and indirect: just ask has he ever heard of swinging and see what he says...you can claim that you'd heard some old high-school friends had married and were now trying it, and you were curious if he knew anything about it. If his response seems to be negative, you should be able to back out gracefully. If he seems warm to the idea, proceed slowly...you may not even want to tell him that evening; let the idea ';simmer,'; so to speak.
Once he gets the idea of what you want, be prepared to field all sorts of questions; the idea of you wanting to swing will automatically raise them, particularly regarding the state of the relationship: ';Am I not satisfying her in bed? Does she not love me anymore? Does she want a divorce?'; Also, if your partner has difficulty coping with ';outside the box'; thinking - or is just simply not always understanding - it will raise questions about YOU, as well: ';Who is this person I've married, exactly?';
One final thought: you said that you feel as if you should have had more sexual partners and more experience. My question to that is why? I think it's very important that you explore exactly why you feel swinging is the answer for you. If you are wishing that you had more knowledge and experience to bring to bed with your husband - or you're wishing he had it - you can fulfill that together with adult videos, counseling, and/or research (books, the internet, etc). On the other hand, if you're feeling as if you ';missed out'; on the different pleasures that different sexual partners bring, it's *possible* swinging is for you...although that too can be satisfied in the ways listed above and more. Just wanted to throw that out there before you do something potentially irreversible.
The best of luck to you and your spouse.
Someone asked how you would handle it if you find out that other men are better than your husband.
I'd like to know how you'll handle it if he finds out that other women are better than you? Wouldn't you be jealous? I can't imagine sharing my husband with anyone (and he's the only lover I've ever had).
Things can start to seem boring sometimes if you've been married for awhile. Maybe instead of bringing other people into it (which I think is a bad idea), you could try to spice up your sex life with your husband. Go to a sex therapist if necessary. Get some good books, discuss ideas, talk to each other about your fantasies. You might be surprised at just how spicy you can make your marriage with just the two of you.
This is a not uncommon problem for younger women who marry without having really lived a single sexually and then the wonder what they missed out on.
Think very clearly about this - which you may have already.
What if others are better than he is - are you ready to deal with him as your primary lover when you know he is lacking?
How are you going to avoid developing feelings for others?
Are you looking to swing together as a couple or do you want to go alone? The Swinging LifeStyle does no preclude straight women - but the overwhelming majority are markedly bisexual. Are you willing to to engage in same sex activities?
there are a lot of considerations - more than I can get into here but feel free to email.
In short you can do what you want, but be certain this is well thought out
you haven't mentioned how your sex life is. Is he an experimental partner, is he willing to try new things? How strong is your relationship?
These are questions you should be asking yourself. Along with how are you going to feel if he has a different partner? What are rules you two can feel comfortable with?
Opening a marriage takes a great deal of tolerance and maturity. Not that people who wish to be monogamous are immature, but that bringing in new people and new situations takes a lot of patience and forgiveness.
So you can start by asking if he's thought about having sex with other people, if he's ever regretted not having other partners. Then slowly introduce the idea that yes you've thought of it... then later you wonder about it, and then get to the nuts and bolts of it, keeping it as hypothetical as possible and emotions out of it. then actually start seriously considering it. this make take months.
edit:
Seems like people are taking it to mean a foursome, which is an option, but I was giving more general advice for just plain doing someone else. amounts to the same, but add the whole will he mind watching would I mind watching etc questions
I don't want to act as if I know everything about you, but it seems to me that you are bored with your sex life. I mean, most women that lose their virginity to the man that they marry don't want anything to do with ANYONE else. It's rare that you do. Anyway, I think that you should sit down with him and just calmly talk about it. If he gets mad, he gets mad. He'll get over it. Just stress the fact that you still find him more attractive than anyone else in the world; you're just curious.
You had enough morals, values and self control to keep yourself until you were married, so why not maintain your morals during marriage? I don't know if you're a Christian and that's why you kept yourself until marriage, but even if you're not and you still remained a virgin until you were married that is very admirable of you.
You said that you should have had more sexual partners? WHY? No matter how many sexual partners you had before marriage, GOD would have still sent you your Mr. Right, your husband eventually. Also, do you know how many STDs you might have contracted if you had sexual partners before marriage? By you saving yourself until marriage it shows that you have morals, values and self respect for yourself and your body. Saving yourself until marriage in this sinful world we live in is something you should really be proud of, seriously.
Marriage is SACRED. Please, like I said, if you could maintain your morals and values before marriage you can continue maintaining your morals and values during marriage. No one else should share YOUR MAN! And I don't understand how you would be fine with another woman sleeping with your husband, GROSS! You and your husband share each other sexually, emotionally, spiritually and no one else! Why would you want to share such a special bond you and your husband share with someone else?
Also, do you think your husband will be happy about this? If he married a virgin and if he was a virgin I guess he expects you and him to have high morals and values, and telling him something like this would really suprise him and disappoint him I'm sure.
I suggest you get help and counselling if you keep feeling this way. I also don't know if you're a Christian but even if you're not a Christian definitely try and seek help from JESUS and The Church (a pastor or someone you trust in church). Also if you read your Bible you would see that GOD does not approve of adultery.
I wish you the best of luck. And yeah remember, having many sexual partners equals STDs. Remember that. Don't ruin your marriage.
And so what if you got married early? It may be hard since you got married young but love will get you and your husband through your marriage. GOD BLESS.
start out with one of your girlfriends and her man, make out with your guys in front of eachother and have a signal to your girlfriend so both of you take off your shirt at the same time, you will know quickly if he is interested in any group events
my ex and I had another couple, where each of us watched the other couple having sex, we exchanged a bit of oral but never got to swapping, it was very very hot
if you really love your husband you wouldnt be worried about';missing out on sexual partners'; you would be ok with making love to your husband and your husband only until the day you die.
maybe you just dont love your husband?
your sick and could get stds and your spouse stds. have a brain and not do a sick thing like that... and a Little respect for Yourself!
Easy. Just say, 'darling, I want to go and spread my legs for some other bloke while you watch, and I can also watch you bang his wife too'.
Simple.
The grass is not always greener on the other side you know.. think very carefully about what you may be risking here.. is a bit of sex worth it all?
wow..you're amazing.
ew...std's
Hopefully you've ignored all the idiots with their false morality rants.
My wife and I have been swinging for five years, and have never had a rough patch in our whole marriage. We swing because it is fun, not because we're bored with each other, or something is lacking. It's a recreational activity. Think of tennis for example. You and your hubby can play tennis for hours on end, but sometimes, a game of pairs is a fun diversion.
Swinging is only for a rock solid, honest, marriage. Swinging can't hurt a marriage like that, but will be fatal to anything less.
Swingers have a lower divorce rate, and a lower rate of STD's than any other portion of the public. All the morality cops out there suffer a 60% divorce rate. Nice, huh?
Here's a couple ways to broach the subject. You might say you stumbled across the topic of swinging right here on Yahoo Answers, and being curious, you looked at a website about swinging. (Here's one: http://www.swinglifestyle.com/ )
If you have ever seen the TV show ';Swingtown,'; you might talk about that.
If he shows any interest, I would recommend going to a swing party, only to watch, not to participate. Meet people, mingle, but don't play with anyone else. See how you feel about it, and talk it over thoroughly when you get home. That's what my wife and I did, we didn't play with anyone else until about our fourth visit to the club.
If you try swinging, make your rules, and stick to them no matter what. Never change rules in the heat of the moment. There's always time to talk about rule changes later when it's just the two of you.
A good book on the subject, is ';Doin One For The Team,'; by Simbaxxx. http://www.amazon.com/Doin-One-Team-Swin…
Good luck. You're honest enough to know you have fantasies, and intelligent enough to explore them.How should I tell my spouse I want us to become swingers?
Wow, this is incredible...I've had both a tough day AND tough questions to answer!
Before starting, I feel I should warn you: sometimes a thing isn't all it's cracked up to be. I've heard a variety of stories about couples who decide to have ';swinging'; relationships. Those stories are a minefield scattered with instances of damaged and ruined relationships. Keep in mind that what you're considering is one of those ';almost-irrevocable'; things in life: once you even start down that path, it will be well-near impossible for you to go back to ';the way things were,'; even if you decide you don't like swinging.
OK, now that I've warned you, on with the good stuff. This is actually a very tricky proposition with no good approach; only relatively easier ones. If you both watch adult movies together, you can try slipping in a tape with ';partner-swapping.'; Take some time, do your research, and get a good one: make sure it involves well set-up characters so that it seems true-to-life. Privately gauge his reaction carefully. If he likes it, try getting another and, if he asks you about it, just say you like watching that sort of thing; it excites you. That's probably going to open the door. If it doesn't, you're just going to have to bite the bullet and ask him what he thinks about what they're doing (swinging). That will definitely do the trick.
If you don't have an ';in'; like this one, you may just have to ask him directly. Keep your approach angled and indirect: just ask has he ever heard of swinging and see what he says...you can claim that you'd heard some old high-school friends had married and were now trying it, and you were curious if he knew anything about it. If his response seems to be negative, you should be able to back out gracefully. If he seems warm to the idea, proceed slowly...you may not even want to tell him that evening; let the idea ';simmer,'; so to speak.
Once he gets the idea of what you want, be prepared to field all sorts of questions; the idea of you wanting to swing will automatically raise them, particularly regarding the state of the relationship: ';Am I not satisfying her in bed? Does she not love me anymore? Does she want a divorce?'; Also, if your partner has difficulty coping with ';outside the box'; thinking - or is just simply not always understanding - it will raise questions about YOU, as well: ';Who is this person I've married, exactly?';
One final thought: you said that you feel as if you should have had more sexual partners and more experience. My question to that is why? I think it's very important that you explore exactly why you feel swinging is the answer for you. If you are wishing that you had more knowledge and experience to bring to bed with your husband - or you're wishing he had it - you can fulfill that together with adult videos, counseling, and/or research (books, the internet, etc). On the other hand, if you're feeling as if you ';missed out'; on the different pleasures that different sexual partners bring, it's *possible* swinging is for you...although that too can be satisfied in the ways listed above and more. Just wanted to throw that out there before you do something potentially irreversible.
The best of luck to you and your spouse.
Someone asked how you would handle it if you find out that other men are better than your husband.
I'd like to know how you'll handle it if he finds out that other women are better than you? Wouldn't you be jealous? I can't imagine sharing my husband with anyone (and he's the only lover I've ever had).
Things can start to seem boring sometimes if you've been married for awhile. Maybe instead of bringing other people into it (which I think is a bad idea), you could try to spice up your sex life with your husband. Go to a sex therapist if necessary. Get some good books, discuss ideas, talk to each other about your fantasies. You might be surprised at just how spicy you can make your marriage with just the two of you.
This is a not uncommon problem for younger women who marry without having really lived a single sexually and then the wonder what they missed out on.
Think very clearly about this - which you may have already.
What if others are better than he is - are you ready to deal with him as your primary lover when you know he is lacking?
How are you going to avoid developing feelings for others?
Are you looking to swing together as a couple or do you want to go alone? The Swinging LifeStyle does no preclude straight women - but the overwhelming majority are markedly bisexual. Are you willing to to engage in same sex activities?
there are a lot of considerations - more than I can get into here but feel free to email.
In short you can do what you want, but be certain this is well thought out
you haven't mentioned how your sex life is. Is he an experimental partner, is he willing to try new things? How strong is your relationship?
These are questions you should be asking yourself. Along with how are you going to feel if he has a different partner? What are rules you two can feel comfortable with?
Opening a marriage takes a great deal of tolerance and maturity. Not that people who wish to be monogamous are immature, but that bringing in new people and new situations takes a lot of patience and forgiveness.
So you can start by asking if he's thought about having sex with other people, if he's ever regretted not having other partners. Then slowly introduce the idea that yes you've thought of it... then later you wonder about it, and then get to the nuts and bolts of it, keeping it as hypothetical as possible and emotions out of it. then actually start seriously considering it. this make take months.
edit:
Seems like people are taking it to mean a foursome, which is an option, but I was giving more general advice for just plain doing someone else. amounts to the same, but add the whole will he mind watching would I mind watching etc questions
I don't want to act as if I know everything about you, but it seems to me that you are bored with your sex life. I mean, most women that lose their virginity to the man that they marry don't want anything to do with ANYONE else. It's rare that you do. Anyway, I think that you should sit down with him and just calmly talk about it. If he gets mad, he gets mad. He'll get over it. Just stress the fact that you still find him more attractive than anyone else in the world; you're just curious.
You had enough morals, values and self control to keep yourself until you were married, so why not maintain your morals during marriage? I don't know if you're a Christian and that's why you kept yourself until marriage, but even if you're not and you still remained a virgin until you were married that is very admirable of you.
You said that you should have had more sexual partners? WHY? No matter how many sexual partners you had before marriage, GOD would have still sent you your Mr. Right, your husband eventually. Also, do you know how many STDs you might have contracted if you had sexual partners before marriage? By you saving yourself until marriage it shows that you have morals, values and self respect for yourself and your body. Saving yourself until marriage in this sinful world we live in is something you should really be proud of, seriously.
Marriage is SACRED. Please, like I said, if you could maintain your morals and values before marriage you can continue maintaining your morals and values during marriage. No one else should share YOUR MAN! And I don't understand how you would be fine with another woman sleeping with your husband, GROSS! You and your husband share each other sexually, emotionally, spiritually and no one else! Why would you want to share such a special bond you and your husband share with someone else?
Also, do you think your husband will be happy about this? If he married a virgin and if he was a virgin I guess he expects you and him to have high morals and values, and telling him something like this would really suprise him and disappoint him I'm sure.
I suggest you get help and counselling if you keep feeling this way. I also don't know if you're a Christian but even if you're not a Christian definitely try and seek help from JESUS and The Church (a pastor or someone you trust in church). Also if you read your Bible you would see that GOD does not approve of adultery.
I wish you the best of luck. And yeah remember, having many sexual partners equals STDs. Remember that. Don't ruin your marriage.
And so what if you got married early? It may be hard since you got married young but love will get you and your husband through your marriage. GOD BLESS.
start out with one of your girlfriends and her man, make out with your guys in front of eachother and have a signal to your girlfriend so both of you take off your shirt at the same time, you will know quickly if he is interested in any group events
my ex and I had another couple, where each of us watched the other couple having sex, we exchanged a bit of oral but never got to swapping, it was very very hot
if you really love your husband you wouldnt be worried about';missing out on sexual partners'; you would be ok with making love to your husband and your husband only until the day you die.
maybe you just dont love your husband?
your sick and could get stds and your spouse stds. have a brain and not do a sick thing like that... and a Little respect for Yourself!
Easy. Just say, 'darling, I want to go and spread my legs for some other bloke while you watch, and I can also watch you bang his wife too'.
Simple.
The grass is not always greener on the other side you know.. think very carefully about what you may be risking here.. is a bit of sex worth it all?
wow..you're amazing.
ew...std's
What are the benefits of going to stay with family during a spouse's deployment?
This will be our second deployment, and we have three young children. The first deployment was hell because I was alone in Missouri with no family or friends. The next deployment will be at least six months, and my parents want me and the kids to come and stay with them. What is the best thing to do, and why?What are the benefits of going to stay with family during a spouse's deployment?
your family is your best support (and they probably noticed how bad it was last time and care, thats why they asked you) so i would go stay with them.What are the benefits of going to stay with family during a spouse's deployment?
Stay. You can always fly over to visit. Moving children allot, even young ones, is not good for them. They need stability.
Grew up in a military town. Lots of kids came and went in the school and they had 2 things in common. 1. they made friends easily 2. they were still distant and were weird with some off things.
It'll take your mind off of things and if you get really stressed out you can leave the kids with your family to go away on a spa trip. My boyfriend's father was just deployed for 6 months. It really helps to have a good support system and to know people who go threw the same thing.
go to family for and support
your family is your best support (and they probably noticed how bad it was last time and care, thats why they asked you) so i would go stay with them.What are the benefits of going to stay with family during a spouse's deployment?
Stay. You can always fly over to visit. Moving children allot, even young ones, is not good for them. They need stability.
Grew up in a military town. Lots of kids came and went in the school and they had 2 things in common. 1. they made friends easily 2. they were still distant and were weird with some off things.
It'll take your mind off of things and if you get really stressed out you can leave the kids with your family to go away on a spa trip. My boyfriend's father was just deployed for 6 months. It really helps to have a good support system and to know people who go threw the same thing.
go to family for and support
How do you tell your spouse your ready for a divorce?
My husband and I have been having a lot of problems lately. I'm tired of trying to fix things because I see no effort coming from him. Now all I really want to do is get a divorce. How do I tell him?How do you tell your spouse your ready for a divorce?
Let your lawyer do it for you.How do you tell your spouse your ready for a divorce?
get a lawyer and serve the papers
You should tell him that the both of you need to see a marriage therapist.
Text message
If your serious, just file and let the paper work he receives in the mail do the talking.
I AM IN THE PLAYPEN WITH SWEET MILDRED.
CRAWL INTO OUR SECRET SOCIETY.
Get yourself Counseling, and then work on your issues.
sit down and talk slowly and cut the line gently if he's still in love with you if not text him and send a notice from your solicitor.
Did you try counseling??? If not get your money situated and get a lawyer...It may get ugly. Just prepare!!
Talk to him about the lack of effort you see in him. This is a common problem that can be solved with just a little communication! Don't you want to try and make your marriage work before you run and get a quickie divorce?
Sit him down and just explain to him that you do love him very much but you don't feel you are both as a happy as you were previously and things are getting worse instead of better. Offer to try marriage concouling.
Just tell him. I told mine I wanted one this morning. He did not even argue about just said O.K.
Sit down %26amp; talk it out
Maybe your hubby already sensed it coming
Its better to just tell him now than to just wait......wait for things to get better
He should know now so you two can come to senses
Tell him you need to talk to him...and tell him you want out.
If he's not putting effort in...then chances are, he wants out too. It may not be too bad of a conversation. Keep it respectful. Keep it to the point.
If you guys agree, it'll be way less money...And less trauma to you both.
Good luck!
Just serve him with the paperwork. There is no point in talking about it. What is going to happen? he says no, please dont and you say yes or ok I will wait only for things to get bad again? The cycle repeats itself - trust me. Just get the papers and ask him to sign.
If it has gotten that bad I think that he might already know. He just doesn't want to be the first to bring up divorce. I would just go to him and be open and honest about your feelings and move forward from there. Everyone deserves to be happy. Good Luck!
Print this question and hand it to him. You did a wonderful of voicing your opinion.
First you need to make sure that is really what you want to do because sometimes marriages can be rocky but that's where the thick and thin come in at because you have to try to get on one accord to make things work.I am married and sometimes my husband get me so mad where I scream out divorce but when I calm down I know that was only out of frustration,BUT! If you are really serious about getting a divorce you should go to your husband like a women and tell him that its not working out because you done see him trying to make a eff fort to make things better so you want a divorce.of-course he will ask you why and try to beg you not to but if you heart is not in the marriage anymore you should get a divorce just make sure your not just saying that out of anger.
Good luck
Tell him just like you placed it here. Its simple, quick, and its a good way to break the ice on this situation. You may want to put a couple examples, so we now what are you trying to say. Sometimes both men, and women, only like to see one side of things, they don't like to see the other side, or even the middle of everything. Maybe he doesn't try for the same reason, he has asked for thing from you, but you don't put your part in it. You say you are tired of trying to fix a (long or short) marriage, but why do you really want to divorce him?
Sometimes, a divorce is an excuse the mind tells you to do for other reasons...
I would just say, ';It's time to separate. I'm 100% done and there is nothing you can do to change my mind.'; I'm almost to that point with my husband and WHEN I get there that is how I am going to tell him.
You don't have to tell him. Just go file for divorce and have him served. He will be able to figure it out.
Do it quick. I f the relationship is over stop being selfish and end it. If your feelings for him have changed why are you hanging on. When my ex tried to end things 8 year before he finally left I tried to fix things over and over, like I said he did leave. I should have let him , I allowed him to waste 8 more years of my life when he was unhappy I should have let him go. So my point is if you are unhappy and have been thinking about divorce , let him go. Give him a chance to get on with his life. My ex took all my youth and through it away. I wish I would have let him go years before. That old ';It's not you it's me'; is a load of crap. Tell him it's both of you. You just don't want the same things any more and you want to move on and allow him to do the same. That you both deserve to be loved and happy and your not either.
hope this helps
I like Yolanda's answers. She very down to earth and mature. I tink she right, he already know.make up brushes makeup hair
Let your lawyer do it for you.How do you tell your spouse your ready for a divorce?
get a lawyer and serve the papers
You should tell him that the both of you need to see a marriage therapist.
Text message
If your serious, just file and let the paper work he receives in the mail do the talking.
I AM IN THE PLAYPEN WITH SWEET MILDRED.
CRAWL INTO OUR SECRET SOCIETY.
Get yourself Counseling, and then work on your issues.
sit down and talk slowly and cut the line gently if he's still in love with you if not text him and send a notice from your solicitor.
Did you try counseling??? If not get your money situated and get a lawyer...It may get ugly. Just prepare!!
Talk to him about the lack of effort you see in him. This is a common problem that can be solved with just a little communication! Don't you want to try and make your marriage work before you run and get a quickie divorce?
Sit him down and just explain to him that you do love him very much but you don't feel you are both as a happy as you were previously and things are getting worse instead of better. Offer to try marriage concouling.
Just tell him. I told mine I wanted one this morning. He did not even argue about just said O.K.
Sit down %26amp; talk it out
Maybe your hubby already sensed it coming
Its better to just tell him now than to just wait......wait for things to get better
He should know now so you two can come to senses
Tell him you need to talk to him...and tell him you want out.
If he's not putting effort in...then chances are, he wants out too. It may not be too bad of a conversation. Keep it respectful. Keep it to the point.
If you guys agree, it'll be way less money...And less trauma to you both.
Good luck!
Just serve him with the paperwork. There is no point in talking about it. What is going to happen? he says no, please dont and you say yes or ok I will wait only for things to get bad again? The cycle repeats itself - trust me. Just get the papers and ask him to sign.
If it has gotten that bad I think that he might already know. He just doesn't want to be the first to bring up divorce. I would just go to him and be open and honest about your feelings and move forward from there. Everyone deserves to be happy. Good Luck!
Print this question and hand it to him. You did a wonderful of voicing your opinion.
First you need to make sure that is really what you want to do because sometimes marriages can be rocky but that's where the thick and thin come in at because you have to try to get on one accord to make things work.I am married and sometimes my husband get me so mad where I scream out divorce but when I calm down I know that was only out of frustration,BUT! If you are really serious about getting a divorce you should go to your husband like a women and tell him that its not working out because you done see him trying to make a eff fort to make things better so you want a divorce.of-course he will ask you why and try to beg you not to but if you heart is not in the marriage anymore you should get a divorce just make sure your not just saying that out of anger.
Good luck
Tell him just like you placed it here. Its simple, quick, and its a good way to break the ice on this situation. You may want to put a couple examples, so we now what are you trying to say. Sometimes both men, and women, only like to see one side of things, they don't like to see the other side, or even the middle of everything. Maybe he doesn't try for the same reason, he has asked for thing from you, but you don't put your part in it. You say you are tired of trying to fix a (long or short) marriage, but why do you really want to divorce him?
Sometimes, a divorce is an excuse the mind tells you to do for other reasons...
I would just say, ';It's time to separate. I'm 100% done and there is nothing you can do to change my mind.'; I'm almost to that point with my husband and WHEN I get there that is how I am going to tell him.
You don't have to tell him. Just go file for divorce and have him served. He will be able to figure it out.
Do it quick. I f the relationship is over stop being selfish and end it. If your feelings for him have changed why are you hanging on. When my ex tried to end things 8 year before he finally left I tried to fix things over and over, like I said he did leave. I should have let him , I allowed him to waste 8 more years of my life when he was unhappy I should have let him go. So my point is if you are unhappy and have been thinking about divorce , let him go. Give him a chance to get on with his life. My ex took all my youth and through it away. I wish I would have let him go years before. That old ';It's not you it's me'; is a load of crap. Tell him it's both of you. You just don't want the same things any more and you want to move on and allow him to do the same. That you both deserve to be loved and happy and your not either.
hope this helps
I like Yolanda's answers. She very down to earth and mature. I tink she right, he already know.
What do you tell a spouse or significant other to get in shape with you?
I am working out and building muscle and my boyfriend is not. How do i motivate him to work out with me?What do you tell a spouse or significant other to get in shape with you?
It's easier when a couple does it together. My husband and I work out together. Don't force the issue, he'll see how great you're doing..he might get motivated. It's something he's going to have to do for himself. Buy a subscription to Muscle and Fitness or Men's Fitness..and that will motivate him!
send him to Testosterone nation.com great site!What do you tell a spouse or significant other to get in shape with you?
tell him you wanna be more active and healthy and you need his support and it would be a diff. way to spend time together... or you could just say dude.. ur belly is big.. ahhaa j/k .. i'm doing the same thing with my man. i just told him we could motivate each other
Give him sex treats when he loses a couple of pounds...other than that he actually has to want to do it himself
You can't make someone lose weight or get in shape. They have to want to do it. But you can do things that he might not realize, such as dragging him on walks, suggesting hiking/camping trips, taking your bikes instead of the car, little one on one basketball, swimming. If your general concerned for his health I would have a heart to heart with him about the benefits of eating better and being fit.
If your boyfriend doesnt want to work out then no amount of nagging will make him,it will only put a wedge between you.
I go to keep fit twice a week and swimming once a week with my friend but i wouldnt ask my partner to come with me coz i know he wouldnt and to try and make him will only cause problems so if your boyfriend doesnt want to exercise then let him be.
christy
I have this problem myself. One good way is to start buying healthier food. Also, start doing exercising as a couple activity.
Like playing basketball together or something like that. So he may not see it as an exercise.
It's easier when a couple does it together. My husband and I work out together. Don't force the issue, he'll see how great you're doing..he might get motivated. It's something he's going to have to do for himself. Buy a subscription to Muscle and Fitness or Men's Fitness..and that will motivate him!
send him to Testosterone nation.com great site!What do you tell a spouse or significant other to get in shape with you?
tell him you wanna be more active and healthy and you need his support and it would be a diff. way to spend time together... or you could just say dude.. ur belly is big.. ahhaa j/k .. i'm doing the same thing with my man. i just told him we could motivate each other
Give him sex treats when he loses a couple of pounds...other than that he actually has to want to do it himself
You can't make someone lose weight or get in shape. They have to want to do it. But you can do things that he might not realize, such as dragging him on walks, suggesting hiking/camping trips, taking your bikes instead of the car, little one on one basketball, swimming. If your general concerned for his health I would have a heart to heart with him about the benefits of eating better and being fit.
If your boyfriend doesnt want to work out then no amount of nagging will make him,it will only put a wedge between you.
I go to keep fit twice a week and swimming once a week with my friend but i wouldnt ask my partner to come with me coz i know he wouldnt and to try and make him will only cause problems so if your boyfriend doesnt want to exercise then let him be.
christy
I have this problem myself. One good way is to start buying healthier food. Also, start doing exercising as a couple activity.
Like playing basketball together or something like that. So he may not see it as an exercise.
How do you and your spouse find ways/time to be intimate with small children around?
And how do you keep things spicy? We don't have children yet, but I've heard of so many marriages having intimacy problems once children come into the picture.How do you and your spouse find ways/time to be intimate with small children around?
For us the key is we are very strict and consistent parents. We interact with our children, we play with them and spend time with them, but we understand and committ to spend time with each other. In order to mantain our relationship solid, we need to start from us. This is where many couples fail, putting kids first. It sounds selfish, but it`s not. The only way you can keep a family together and stable is by starting from the relationship, the foundation is the couple.
We put our children to bed at 8pm every night, once in a while we let them stay up for weekends, and they do as told because we`re raising respectful children under very good family values.
Nights are the best time for us to be intimate and keep our relationship good for ourselves. Once a year we go on a trip just the two, with the help of my mother. I know many couples don`t have this luxury, but we do and take advantage to bring back the sparks.How do you and your spouse find ways/time to be intimate with small children around?
It takes some planning. Teaching kids at 3-4 that they need to knock on their parents' door at night helps. Locking the door is a must, of course.
Opportunities for spontaneous sex during the day do get harder to come by, but keeping an eye out for the odd opportunity becomes second nature! Trying to have lots of good sex is important, and surprising each other when it's safe to do so is a must, in my opinion!
Once the kids are in school, it does get easier, especially if you work locally!
This is why it's important for couples to have a separate room for the kids and babies to sleep in. Too many couples get into the bad habit of letting the kids sleep with them and then the kids literally come between the husband and wife.
Get the kids on a schedule and put them to bed and when available allow them to spend the night with friends or relatives.
Well, children do sleep....
Also, a good bedroom lock comes in quite handy. :)
It's not impossible if you make time with each other a priority. You learn that other things in life aren't that important (example..we watch very little tv) and if you keep in mind that a happy marriage is the best foundation for parenting it's easy to be creative.
The issue often is that hubby feels replaced. intamacy is easy get to swapping with friends ill take yours for 2 hours on thurs you take mine on wneds and now you got fun time with no kiddies. also little ones sleep ALOT let them sleep with a small radio or cd player going and they get used to a little back ground noise and my boys sleep through anything. Spicy??? well define spicy its gonna depend on what thrills you and what doesnt if your sex life is good now then do that LOL.
Our daughter is 14 months and co sleeps a lot so we stick her in bed and then make our little den bit on the living room floor. We have a duvet and loads of pillows and then we sit in the living room watching tv and having sex. You can get from 8pm onwards to yourself so loads of time for sex whilst your child is in bed
Trust me you'll find ways. We schedule date nights once a week, at least we used to until we moved to a different state a month ago, we don't know anybody here! But we have a two year old and we still have pretty hot sex. We do it as often as we did before she came along, and we do it in all the same places. We just have to wait until she's sleeping and spray everything down with Lysol! lol
If a child has his/her own room there is NO need for there to be a problem for a couple to be intimate. The couples you describe do not know how to create rules and boundaries for their kids. I have 4 kids and I have NEVER had problems getting intimate with my partner because they we're home.
My Husband and I make a point of ';date'; night once a month. My Mom (Grandma) takes them for one night. We go out to dinner, talk, reconnect, go home and have some fun. Of course when the kids are in bed at night we have our time. There is always enough time to be intimate. You have to make sure there is always enough room for your marriage. Its called balance.
We are in our 20's and we have 2 kids. We get it on a few times a week. We just put them to bed around 8 every night and turn the lights down low bay bay~
You have to make time or you will always have an excuse to put it off
The good news is that they go to bed early, and take naps.
The bad news is that they wear you out and you end up going to bed early and taking naps.
There will be some frustration, but you will work it out.
That's just an excuse that people use. Trust me, it's a lot easier than you think. Yeah, it sucks because you will be tired from chasing kids around all day but you have to make yourself do it to keep your marriage close.
ha ha not mine we have 6 kids together and were good
that's what your room is for close the door and lock it and tell the kids when this door is closed
do not come knocking unles its ur bleeding or something like that lol
ha ha
When the kids are in bed...or sometimes when they are engrossed in a movie...just be sure you lock the door, you don't want to hear your child say ';why is daddy naked'; in the middle of it:)
Young children should be in bed by 8PM.
Supernanny has a great ';stay in bed'; technique.
When they were little the kids used to go to bed at 8.
Ever try turning the TV off? Suddenly you find yourself with 3 hours before 11 and nothing to do but get busy.
wear a mini skirt without undies - drop something on the floor and he can just come up behind you and do the nasty while he says - ';I am helping mommy pick that up';
Babies take naps and sleep dont they? Hand them off to grandma a few times a month and have some steamy nights alone. Stop making excuses.
When the kids are sleeping! :) just make sure you lock the door though! because you don't want them to walk in on you! and don't be to loud!
Try greasing the bedroom doorknob.
It isn't just finding time, it's finding the energy!
We usually reserve our love making for when the kids are all in bed, sometimes if he is home when the kids are at school. if the love romance attraction and desire is there than you will need no help keeping things spiced up!
wait till the kids are asleep then get into it
shut the door
babies ruin good people.
im not sure maybe get some alone time??
We make thursday night our Night. If you dont make the time it wont ever happen..
For us the key is we are very strict and consistent parents. We interact with our children, we play with them and spend time with them, but we understand and committ to spend time with each other. In order to mantain our relationship solid, we need to start from us. This is where many couples fail, putting kids first. It sounds selfish, but it`s not. The only way you can keep a family together and stable is by starting from the relationship, the foundation is the couple.
We put our children to bed at 8pm every night, once in a while we let them stay up for weekends, and they do as told because we`re raising respectful children under very good family values.
Nights are the best time for us to be intimate and keep our relationship good for ourselves. Once a year we go on a trip just the two, with the help of my mother. I know many couples don`t have this luxury, but we do and take advantage to bring back the sparks.How do you and your spouse find ways/time to be intimate with small children around?
It takes some planning. Teaching kids at 3-4 that they need to knock on their parents' door at night helps. Locking the door is a must, of course.
Opportunities for spontaneous sex during the day do get harder to come by, but keeping an eye out for the odd opportunity becomes second nature! Trying to have lots of good sex is important, and surprising each other when it's safe to do so is a must, in my opinion!
Once the kids are in school, it does get easier, especially if you work locally!
This is why it's important for couples to have a separate room for the kids and babies to sleep in. Too many couples get into the bad habit of letting the kids sleep with them and then the kids literally come between the husband and wife.
Get the kids on a schedule and put them to bed and when available allow them to spend the night with friends or relatives.
Well, children do sleep....
Also, a good bedroom lock comes in quite handy. :)
It's not impossible if you make time with each other a priority. You learn that other things in life aren't that important (example..we watch very little tv) and if you keep in mind that a happy marriage is the best foundation for parenting it's easy to be creative.
The issue often is that hubby feels replaced. intamacy is easy get to swapping with friends ill take yours for 2 hours on thurs you take mine on wneds and now you got fun time with no kiddies. also little ones sleep ALOT let them sleep with a small radio or cd player going and they get used to a little back ground noise and my boys sleep through anything. Spicy??? well define spicy its gonna depend on what thrills you and what doesnt if your sex life is good now then do that LOL.
Our daughter is 14 months and co sleeps a lot so we stick her in bed and then make our little den bit on the living room floor. We have a duvet and loads of pillows and then we sit in the living room watching tv and having sex. You can get from 8pm onwards to yourself so loads of time for sex whilst your child is in bed
Trust me you'll find ways. We schedule date nights once a week, at least we used to until we moved to a different state a month ago, we don't know anybody here! But we have a two year old and we still have pretty hot sex. We do it as often as we did before she came along, and we do it in all the same places. We just have to wait until she's sleeping and spray everything down with Lysol! lol
If a child has his/her own room there is NO need for there to be a problem for a couple to be intimate. The couples you describe do not know how to create rules and boundaries for their kids. I have 4 kids and I have NEVER had problems getting intimate with my partner because they we're home.
My Husband and I make a point of ';date'; night once a month. My Mom (Grandma) takes them for one night. We go out to dinner, talk, reconnect, go home and have some fun. Of course when the kids are in bed at night we have our time. There is always enough time to be intimate. You have to make sure there is always enough room for your marriage. Its called balance.
We are in our 20's and we have 2 kids. We get it on a few times a week. We just put them to bed around 8 every night and turn the lights down low bay bay~
You have to make time or you will always have an excuse to put it off
The good news is that they go to bed early, and take naps.
The bad news is that they wear you out and you end up going to bed early and taking naps.
There will be some frustration, but you will work it out.
That's just an excuse that people use. Trust me, it's a lot easier than you think. Yeah, it sucks because you will be tired from chasing kids around all day but you have to make yourself do it to keep your marriage close.
ha ha not mine we have 6 kids together and were good
that's what your room is for close the door and lock it and tell the kids when this door is closed
do not come knocking unles its ur bleeding or something like that lol
ha ha
When the kids are in bed...or sometimes when they are engrossed in a movie...just be sure you lock the door, you don't want to hear your child say ';why is daddy naked'; in the middle of it:)
Young children should be in bed by 8PM.
Supernanny has a great ';stay in bed'; technique.
When they were little the kids used to go to bed at 8.
Ever try turning the TV off? Suddenly you find yourself with 3 hours before 11 and nothing to do but get busy.
wear a mini skirt without undies - drop something on the floor and he can just come up behind you and do the nasty while he says - ';I am helping mommy pick that up';
Babies take naps and sleep dont they? Hand them off to grandma a few times a month and have some steamy nights alone. Stop making excuses.
When the kids are sleeping! :) just make sure you lock the door though! because you don't want them to walk in on you! and don't be to loud!
Try greasing the bedroom doorknob.
It isn't just finding time, it's finding the energy!
We usually reserve our love making for when the kids are all in bed, sometimes if he is home when the kids are at school. if the love romance attraction and desire is there than you will need no help keeping things spiced up!
wait till the kids are asleep then get into it
shut the door
babies ruin good people.
im not sure maybe get some alone time??
We make thursday night our Night. If you dont make the time it wont ever happen..
How long does it take to receive a refund when filing injured spouse?
I filed 2/14 and turbo tax said I should see a refund 2/27. Still no refund or info. When I called the IRS, they said it takes longer when you file an injured spouse (12 weeks?). Is that accurate or is the worst scenario? How long should I expect to wait?How long does it take to receive a refund when filing injured spouse?
When you attach Form 8379 to your return the total processing time is 11 to 14 weeks. If you file after the fact it takes 6 to 8 weeks after your tax return is processed to release any refund. This works out to about the same total amount of time needed for processing either way.
If you filed on 2/14, don't expect to see any refund before early May and possibly early June.How long does it take to receive a refund when filing injured spouse?
Sorry, but that's the way it works. TFTP.
When you attach Form 8379 to your return the total processing time is 11 to 14 weeks. If you file after the fact it takes 6 to 8 weeks after your tax return is processed to release any refund. This works out to about the same total amount of time needed for processing either way.
If you filed on 2/14, don't expect to see any refund before early May and possibly early June.How long does it take to receive a refund when filing injured spouse?
Sorry, but that's the way it works. TFTP.
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How many times can a spouse complain about laundry before one can call in an air-strike?
Thank you for taking my poll. I don't like laundry, and you probably care deeply to know that yet didn't bring Cheez-Whiz.How many times can a spouse complain about laundry before one can call in an air-strike?
After the 3rd complaint is launched and due to the abbreviated trajectory, I'm thinking your weapon of choice would be a shoulder-fired rocket launcher.... more accurate at close range.
After all, why take the whole house out, when only the laundry room is necessary?How many times can a spouse complain about laundry before one can call in an air-strike?
You know, I'm weird.
I don't mind laundry.
I don't mind washing it.
I don't mind drying it.
I don't mind folding it.
BUT I DETEST PUTTING IT AWAY. Is that not the weirdest thing? I wash it, dry it, fold it, and then leave it all on the bed and ask my husband to put it away. Lol. I don't know why, I just hate putting it all in the drawers, and hanging up the shirts. Ugh.
i use to wash my fiance's clothes sometimes, but stopped all together because he kept complaining. i havent washed his clothes in 1 1/2 years,...and yes, he still washes mine at time--i dont complain.
the spouse should not have to complain about the laundry,the mate should have it done correctly.
You know, that's how the first Gulf War started.
Bush Snr got real sick of Saddam always dumping a bag of dirty laundry on the White House steps every Sunday afternoon.
*cries*
I don't particularly love doing laundry...but I hate even more having my family wearing dirty clothes....
With all the kids we have, laundry is done everyday no matter if we feel like doing it or not... and yes, I said ';we'; because my husband helps me with all the housework.
I don't like laundry either.
He he wants clean undies, he can wash them by his damn self:)
I don't get what the big deal is about laundry. It's not like it's that hard or time consuming!
I say if you're going to complain.... DO IT YOURSELF....
Lmao...Thanx..
After the 3rd complaint is launched and due to the abbreviated trajectory, I'm thinking your weapon of choice would be a shoulder-fired rocket launcher.... more accurate at close range.
After all, why take the whole house out, when only the laundry room is necessary?How many times can a spouse complain about laundry before one can call in an air-strike?
You know, I'm weird.
I don't mind laundry.
I don't mind washing it.
I don't mind drying it.
I don't mind folding it.
BUT I DETEST PUTTING IT AWAY. Is that not the weirdest thing? I wash it, dry it, fold it, and then leave it all on the bed and ask my husband to put it away. Lol. I don't know why, I just hate putting it all in the drawers, and hanging up the shirts. Ugh.
i use to wash my fiance's clothes sometimes, but stopped all together because he kept complaining. i havent washed his clothes in 1 1/2 years,...and yes, he still washes mine at time--i dont complain.
the spouse should not have to complain about the laundry,the mate should have it done correctly.
You know, that's how the first Gulf War started.
Bush Snr got real sick of Saddam always dumping a bag of dirty laundry on the White House steps every Sunday afternoon.
*cries*
I don't particularly love doing laundry...but I hate even more having my family wearing dirty clothes....
With all the kids we have, laundry is done everyday no matter if we feel like doing it or not... and yes, I said ';we'; because my husband helps me with all the housework.
I don't like laundry either.
He he wants clean undies, he can wash them by his damn self:)
I don't get what the big deal is about laundry. It's not like it's that hard or time consuming!
I say if you're going to complain.... DO IT YOURSELF....
Lmao...Thanx..
How do you know your spouse really loves you?
I mean we get so comfortable in a relationship and sometimes we forgive things we shouldn't? We're either to scare to move on or we're just too comfortable financially or emotionally accept that it's okay to be mistreated or ignored or taken advantage of. How do we know our spouses really love us?How do you know your spouse really loves you?
For me, i know my wife loves me because she does a lot of things for me without me asking. And i do that for her as well. We work together, never need to be nagged. We have sex very regularly. Both of us initiate at times so it isn't one sided. We never let each other down. When one needs the other for whatever reason, we are there. To me, all that is love. if they need to be reminded ot be thoughtful of you, or nagged ot be sweet and make love ot you, or find excuses not to come thru, then you can probably question the love in that relationship. Love isn't work. I don't work a day in my life to be with her. It's easy. She is a part of me. So doing for her, is like doing for me.How do you know your spouse really loves you?
You can't ever know.
People can lie. Even to themselves. Many people convince themselves they're in love with someone, because they can't stand the idea of being alone. (or what being alone implies: loser).
The key is: you decide what you will tolerate and what you will not. If you're being abused - it does not matter if you love them or they love you. You MUST protect yourself.
So - ask yourself the following things:
1. Does your spouse ever show GENUINE concern for other people's feelings? (even animals). If the answer is yes, then your spouse is not a psychopath. That's a good thing.
2. Does your spouse try to manipulate others? (lying is a big indicator here, but using sex, or other reward/punishment mechanisms is very indicative of manipulation).
3. Does your spouse abuse you, or others, (or substances, alcohol, drugs), physically, emotionally, verbally? (including - especially cheating). Basically, are they a bully?
If the answer to either of the last two is yes, then it's very likely that they have a damaged ego, and are primarily motivated by fear - and they may believe firmly that they love you, and swear they do, but trust me, they do not. Manipulators and abusers hate themselves. They are pathologically incapable of loving others.
This condition IS curable. Codpendency and Addiction recovery are good programs that can teach someone how to rebuild self esteem. When they love themselves, they can really love others. Of course, this is very oversimplified, and there are a lot of other personality disorder issues or mental illness that can complicate things.
Psychopathy is NOT curable. If the answer to question 1 is no, then get out of there, run like hell.
re: I mean we get so comfortable in a relationship and sometimes we forgive things we shouldn't?
%26gt;%26gt;%26gt; That's called CODEPENDENCY.......an ILLNESS! Relationships are more about finding solutions to problems than STUPIDLY forgiving (only to have it happen again and again and again with no solution - ever!)
We're either to scare to move on or we're just too comfortable financially or emotionally accept that it's okay to be mistreated or ignored or taken advantage of.
%26gt;%26gt; And that is a perfect description of CODEPENDENCY!
http://www.google.com/search?client=oper鈥?/a>
....don't worry - it's cureable!
How do we know our spouses really love us?
%26gt;%26gt; You don't! All you will ever know is that it is working or not - depending on your level of relationship skills and KNOWLEDGE. When it's working, you will know.
When he stops at Starbucks on his way home from work to bring you a caramel macchiato, because he knows I won't spend $5 on a coffee for myself.
Or when you wake up at 10 a.m. on a Saturday, because he got up, turned off your alarm, fed the kids and took the dogs out so that you could sleep in.
Little things...just all the little things matter at that point in the relationship...more so than words.
My husband is constantly complementing me.
He is always there for rme no matter what.
He tells me everyday more than once how much he loves me.
He would do anything reasonable that I would ask him to do.
He helps out around the house.
really everything about him tells me that he loves me..And vice versa
Remember, love is a verb, not a feeling. One must actively love someone or they begin to take the companionship for granted. If the two of you are Christians, grab the book The Love Dare. It truly changed my wife's and my relationship for the better.
When he does things on a regular basis that he knows will make you happy. When he has your back and you have his. Our house is the soft place to land at the end of the day.
They show you daily.
They hug you.
THey say i love you often.
They desire you a lot!
They buy you things.
You have good feelings when they r around too.
u would know they love u by how they treat u, by their behavior, by their willingness to do certain things for u, but when one gets mistreated, or taken Advantage of i don't think its love anymore.
I think it's when they put your needs before their own. They want you to be happy when they see that you aren't. Problem is they usually don't see those things.
When he will get up off the couch just after he sat down after doing the dishes to bring you a glass of iced tea.
what is love? Maybe after all the lust it is only that, comfort and laziness.
For me, i know my wife loves me because she does a lot of things for me without me asking. And i do that for her as well. We work together, never need to be nagged. We have sex very regularly. Both of us initiate at times so it isn't one sided. We never let each other down. When one needs the other for whatever reason, we are there. To me, all that is love. if they need to be reminded ot be thoughtful of you, or nagged ot be sweet and make love ot you, or find excuses not to come thru, then you can probably question the love in that relationship. Love isn't work. I don't work a day in my life to be with her. It's easy. She is a part of me. So doing for her, is like doing for me.How do you know your spouse really loves you?
You can't ever know.
People can lie. Even to themselves. Many people convince themselves they're in love with someone, because they can't stand the idea of being alone. (or what being alone implies: loser).
The key is: you decide what you will tolerate and what you will not. If you're being abused - it does not matter if you love them or they love you. You MUST protect yourself.
So - ask yourself the following things:
1. Does your spouse ever show GENUINE concern for other people's feelings? (even animals). If the answer is yes, then your spouse is not a psychopath. That's a good thing.
2. Does your spouse try to manipulate others? (lying is a big indicator here, but using sex, or other reward/punishment mechanisms is very indicative of manipulation).
3. Does your spouse abuse you, or others, (or substances, alcohol, drugs), physically, emotionally, verbally? (including - especially cheating). Basically, are they a bully?
If the answer to either of the last two is yes, then it's very likely that they have a damaged ego, and are primarily motivated by fear - and they may believe firmly that they love you, and swear they do, but trust me, they do not. Manipulators and abusers hate themselves. They are pathologically incapable of loving others.
This condition IS curable. Codpendency and Addiction recovery are good programs that can teach someone how to rebuild self esteem. When they love themselves, they can really love others. Of course, this is very oversimplified, and there are a lot of other personality disorder issues or mental illness that can complicate things.
Psychopathy is NOT curable. If the answer to question 1 is no, then get out of there, run like hell.
re: I mean we get so comfortable in a relationship and sometimes we forgive things we shouldn't?
%26gt;%26gt;%26gt; That's called CODEPENDENCY.......an ILLNESS! Relationships are more about finding solutions to problems than STUPIDLY forgiving (only to have it happen again and again and again with no solution - ever!)
We're either to scare to move on or we're just too comfortable financially or emotionally accept that it's okay to be mistreated or ignored or taken advantage of.
%26gt;%26gt; And that is a perfect description of CODEPENDENCY!
http://www.google.com/search?client=oper鈥?/a>
....don't worry - it's cureable!
How do we know our spouses really love us?
%26gt;%26gt; You don't! All you will ever know is that it is working or not - depending on your level of relationship skills and KNOWLEDGE. When it's working, you will know.
When he stops at Starbucks on his way home from work to bring you a caramel macchiato, because he knows I won't spend $5 on a coffee for myself.
Or when you wake up at 10 a.m. on a Saturday, because he got up, turned off your alarm, fed the kids and took the dogs out so that you could sleep in.
Little things...just all the little things matter at that point in the relationship...more so than words.
My husband is constantly complementing me.
He is always there for rme no matter what.
He tells me everyday more than once how much he loves me.
He would do anything reasonable that I would ask him to do.
He helps out around the house.
really everything about him tells me that he loves me..And vice versa
Remember, love is a verb, not a feeling. One must actively love someone or they begin to take the companionship for granted. If the two of you are Christians, grab the book The Love Dare. It truly changed my wife's and my relationship for the better.
When he does things on a regular basis that he knows will make you happy. When he has your back and you have his. Our house is the soft place to land at the end of the day.
They show you daily.
They hug you.
THey say i love you often.
They desire you a lot!
They buy you things.
You have good feelings when they r around too.
u would know they love u by how they treat u, by their behavior, by their willingness to do certain things for u, but when one gets mistreated, or taken Advantage of i don't think its love anymore.
I think it's when they put your needs before their own. They want you to be happy when they see that you aren't. Problem is they usually don't see those things.
When he will get up off the couch just after he sat down after doing the dishes to bring you a glass of iced tea.
what is love? Maybe after all the lust it is only that, comfort and laziness.
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