How do you know your spouse really loves you?

I mean we get so comfortable in a relationship and sometimes we forgive things we shouldn't? We're either to scare to move on or we're just too comfortable financially or emotionally accept that it's okay to be mistreated or ignored or taken advantage of. How do we know our spouses really love us?How do you know your spouse really loves you?
For me, i know my wife loves me because she does a lot of things for me without me asking. And i do that for her as well. We work together, never need to be nagged. We have sex very regularly. Both of us initiate at times so it isn't one sided. We never let each other down. When one needs the other for whatever reason, we are there. To me, all that is love. if they need to be reminded ot be thoughtful of you, or nagged ot be sweet and make love ot you, or find excuses not to come thru, then you can probably question the love in that relationship. Love isn't work. I don't work a day in my life to be with her. It's easy. She is a part of me. So doing for her, is like doing for me.How do you know your spouse really loves you?
You can't ever know.


People can lie. Even to themselves. Many people convince themselves they're in love with someone, because they can't stand the idea of being alone. (or what being alone implies: loser).





The key is: you decide what you will tolerate and what you will not. If you're being abused - it does not matter if you love them or they love you. You MUST protect yourself.





So - ask yourself the following things:


1. Does your spouse ever show GENUINE concern for other people's feelings? (even animals). If the answer is yes, then your spouse is not a psychopath. That's a good thing.


2. Does your spouse try to manipulate others? (lying is a big indicator here, but using sex, or other reward/punishment mechanisms is very indicative of manipulation).


3. Does your spouse abuse you, or others, (or substances, alcohol, drugs), physically, emotionally, verbally? (including - especially cheating). Basically, are they a bully?





If the answer to either of the last two is yes, then it's very likely that they have a damaged ego, and are primarily motivated by fear - and they may believe firmly that they love you, and swear they do, but trust me, they do not. Manipulators and abusers hate themselves. They are pathologically incapable of loving others.





This condition IS curable. Codpendency and Addiction recovery are good programs that can teach someone how to rebuild self esteem. When they love themselves, they can really love others. Of course, this is very oversimplified, and there are a lot of other personality disorder issues or mental illness that can complicate things.





Psychopathy is NOT curable. If the answer to question 1 is no, then get out of there, run like hell.
re: I mean we get so comfortable in a relationship and sometimes we forgive things we shouldn't?


%26gt;%26gt;%26gt; That's called CODEPENDENCY.......an ILLNESS! Relationships are more about finding solutions to problems than STUPIDLY forgiving (only to have it happen again and again and again with no solution - ever!)





We're either to scare to move on or we're just too comfortable financially or emotionally accept that it's okay to be mistreated or ignored or taken advantage of.


%26gt;%26gt; And that is a perfect description of CODEPENDENCY!


http://www.google.com/search?client=oper鈥?/a>


....don't worry - it's cureable!





How do we know our spouses really love us?


%26gt;%26gt; You don't! All you will ever know is that it is working or not - depending on your level of relationship skills and KNOWLEDGE. When it's working, you will know.
When he stops at Starbucks on his way home from work to bring you a caramel macchiato, because he knows I won't spend $5 on a coffee for myself.





Or when you wake up at 10 a.m. on a Saturday, because he got up, turned off your alarm, fed the kids and took the dogs out so that you could sleep in.





Little things...just all the little things matter at that point in the relationship...more so than words.
My husband is constantly complementing me.


He is always there for rme no matter what.


He tells me everyday more than once how much he loves me.


He would do anything reasonable that I would ask him to do.


He helps out around the house.


really everything about him tells me that he loves me..And vice versa
Remember, love is a verb, not a feeling. One must actively love someone or they begin to take the companionship for granted. If the two of you are Christians, grab the book The Love Dare. It truly changed my wife's and my relationship for the better.
When he does things on a regular basis that he knows will make you happy. When he has your back and you have his. Our house is the soft place to land at the end of the day.
They show you daily.


They hug you.


THey say i love you often.


They desire you a lot!


They buy you things.


You have good feelings when they r around too.
u would know they love u by how they treat u, by their behavior, by their willingness to do certain things for u, but when one gets mistreated, or taken Advantage of i don't think its love anymore.
I think it's when they put your needs before their own. They want you to be happy when they see that you aren't. Problem is they usually don't see those things.
When he will get up off the couch just after he sat down after doing the dishes to bring you a glass of iced tea.
what is love? Maybe after all the lust it is only that, comfort and laziness.