How do you deal with your spouse lying to you about something they know you dissaprove of?

And they keep promising never again, but you keep catching them again and again. They know it hurts you so much, they keep promising not anymore. Remember, its a spouse - so a lot of my life is invested here.How do you deal with your spouse lying to you about something they know you dissaprove of?
Lying about anything in a relationship is tough. Once your caught at it, it breeds distrust and insecurities which is very hard to rebuild. And if there lying here makes you wonder what else there lieing about. Depending on the severity of what your talking about you have to decide whether it's worth giving up what you have invested.How do you deal with your spouse lying to you about something they know you dissaprove of?
Hello Cakers I understand you situation , but one thing I may not be clear of though is the act on which you keep catching your spouse on ?





Never the less I will try my best to help you as possible as I could . Lets say maybe just the thing you keep catching your spouse on is may be say pornography, lets take that example for the start .





The first thing you need to find is the reason for him doing what he is doing that you keep catching him doing . Try to make him as comfortable as possible to tell you the reason why he does what he do . Then try your best to be understanding and calm as you are mainly concerned about the safety of your marriage .


In most cases women are not reluctant enough to communicate with their spouses about such matters as sex and stuff . you may discover that basically the lack of proper communication about this may even lead to sseparation. So try to talk to him about your feelings towards his actions , then let him tell you exactly what it is that attract him to doing what he does that you are not able to do for him ?





then you may come to discover that aafter allyour spouse was just not reluctant to talk openly to you about sex .





I am not saying that what he does was sexually related since you were not openly clear about your details . and good luck .
Is he lying about the cost of something saying it was $1000 when infact it was $1999 or is he lying about something that could really impact on your life.





If it's financial - you can take control of the money


If it's his whereabouts - you could ask that he not go out to such and such anymore.





Some people lie out of habit. It is something they learnt and it worked as a child and they continue to do it. They dont like confrontation. Is he a placid guy trying to avoid an argument.





Consider how bad his lies are. Does he lie about the cost of something or have you caught him out lying about female company.





Look at your values. Some wise people may say a lie is a lie and to leave but I think some lies I can look beyond because I have invested so much in my marriage too
Shame they don't feel the same way about you really isn't it, that as you're married a lot is invested.





You either put up with it or you don't. It's clear that you are never going to win and it's clear that your spouse doesn't really care about your feelings. We don't know what they are lying about so it could be that you disapprove of something that most people wouldn't mind.....but i still think if something really upsets your spouse it's something you shouldn't do regardless of whether other people wouldn't mind.





Cant you tell us what it is ?
You either accept that you married a liar, you evaluate whether or not that thing you disapprove of is really worth the hassle of getting upset over, you consider marriage counseling, or you move on.





I can tell you repeated lying wouldn't sit well with me, ';life invested'; or not. Lying is showing disrespect for you and the relationship...and I'd wonder what else was I being lied to about? No trust in a relationship, no relationship.
Something tells me this is of a sexual nature, correct? If so, it could be an addiction. I strongly recommend a counselor to work through this issue, because you can't stay with someone who is going to lie like this constantly, and do hurtful things knowingly.
They say speed kills. Well, lying and secrets kill relationships. I'm going to guess and say that he's promising to not look at porn and keeps doing so. If this is what's going on then he's going to need professional help because he's addicted. Best.