How should I tell my spouse I want us to become swingers?

I lost my virginity to my husband. We married very young right after college. I have had feelings like I should have had more sexually partners and more experience.How should I tell my spouse I want us to become swingers?
Hopefully you've ignored all the idiots with their false morality rants.





My wife and I have been swinging for five years, and have never had a rough patch in our whole marriage. We swing because it is fun, not because we're bored with each other, or something is lacking. It's a recreational activity. Think of tennis for example. You and your hubby can play tennis for hours on end, but sometimes, a game of pairs is a fun diversion.





Swinging is only for a rock solid, honest, marriage. Swinging can't hurt a marriage like that, but will be fatal to anything less.





Swingers have a lower divorce rate, and a lower rate of STD's than any other portion of the public. All the morality cops out there suffer a 60% divorce rate. Nice, huh?





Here's a couple ways to broach the subject. You might say you stumbled across the topic of swinging right here on Yahoo Answers, and being curious, you looked at a website about swinging. (Here's one: http://www.swinglifestyle.com/ )





If you have ever seen the TV show ';Swingtown,'; you might talk about that.





If he shows any interest, I would recommend going to a swing party, only to watch, not to participate. Meet people, mingle, but don't play with anyone else. See how you feel about it, and talk it over thoroughly when you get home. That's what my wife and I did, we didn't play with anyone else until about our fourth visit to the club.





If you try swinging, make your rules, and stick to them no matter what. Never change rules in the heat of the moment. There's always time to talk about rule changes later when it's just the two of you.





A good book on the subject, is ';Doin One For The Team,'; by Simbaxxx. http://www.amazon.com/Doin-One-Team-Swin…





Good luck. You're honest enough to know you have fantasies, and intelligent enough to explore them.How should I tell my spouse I want us to become swingers?
Wow, this is incredible...I've had both a tough day AND tough questions to answer!





Before starting, I feel I should warn you: sometimes a thing isn't all it's cracked up to be. I've heard a variety of stories about couples who decide to have ';swinging'; relationships. Those stories are a minefield scattered with instances of damaged and ruined relationships. Keep in mind that what you're considering is one of those ';almost-irrevocable'; things in life: once you even start down that path, it will be well-near impossible for you to go back to ';the way things were,'; even if you decide you don't like swinging.





OK, now that I've warned you, on with the good stuff. This is actually a very tricky proposition with no good approach; only relatively easier ones. If you both watch adult movies together, you can try slipping in a tape with ';partner-swapping.'; Take some time, do your research, and get a good one: make sure it involves well set-up characters so that it seems true-to-life. Privately gauge his reaction carefully. If he likes it, try getting another and, if he asks you about it, just say you like watching that sort of thing; it excites you. That's probably going to open the door. If it doesn't, you're just going to have to bite the bullet and ask him what he thinks about what they're doing (swinging). That will definitely do the trick.





If you don't have an ';in'; like this one, you may just have to ask him directly. Keep your approach angled and indirect: just ask has he ever heard of swinging and see what he says...you can claim that you'd heard some old high-school friends had married and were now trying it, and you were curious if he knew anything about it. If his response seems to be negative, you should be able to back out gracefully. If he seems warm to the idea, proceed slowly...you may not even want to tell him that evening; let the idea ';simmer,'; so to speak.





Once he gets the idea of what you want, be prepared to field all sorts of questions; the idea of you wanting to swing will automatically raise them, particularly regarding the state of the relationship: ';Am I not satisfying her in bed? Does she not love me anymore? Does she want a divorce?'; Also, if your partner has difficulty coping with ';outside the box'; thinking - or is just simply not always understanding - it will raise questions about YOU, as well: ';Who is this person I've married, exactly?';





One final thought: you said that you feel as if you should have had more sexual partners and more experience. My question to that is why? I think it's very important that you explore exactly why you feel swinging is the answer for you. If you are wishing that you had more knowledge and experience to bring to bed with your husband - or you're wishing he had it - you can fulfill that together with adult videos, counseling, and/or research (books, the internet, etc). On the other hand, if you're feeling as if you ';missed out'; on the different pleasures that different sexual partners bring, it's *possible* swinging is for you...although that too can be satisfied in the ways listed above and more. Just wanted to throw that out there before you do something potentially irreversible.





The best of luck to you and your spouse.
Someone asked how you would handle it if you find out that other men are better than your husband.





I'd like to know how you'll handle it if he finds out that other women are better than you? Wouldn't you be jealous? I can't imagine sharing my husband with anyone (and he's the only lover I've ever had).





Things can start to seem boring sometimes if you've been married for awhile. Maybe instead of bringing other people into it (which I think is a bad idea), you could try to spice up your sex life with your husband. Go to a sex therapist if necessary. Get some good books, discuss ideas, talk to each other about your fantasies. You might be surprised at just how spicy you can make your marriage with just the two of you.
This is a not uncommon problem for younger women who marry without having really lived a single sexually and then the wonder what they missed out on.





Think very clearly about this - which you may have already.





What if others are better than he is - are you ready to deal with him as your primary lover when you know he is lacking?





How are you going to avoid developing feelings for others?





Are you looking to swing together as a couple or do you want to go alone? The Swinging LifeStyle does no preclude straight women - but the overwhelming majority are markedly bisexual. Are you willing to to engage in same sex activities?





there are a lot of considerations - more than I can get into here but feel free to email.





In short you can do what you want, but be certain this is well thought out
you haven't mentioned how your sex life is. Is he an experimental partner, is he willing to try new things? How strong is your relationship?


These are questions you should be asking yourself. Along with how are you going to feel if he has a different partner? What are rules you two can feel comfortable with?


Opening a marriage takes a great deal of tolerance and maturity. Not that people who wish to be monogamous are immature, but that bringing in new people and new situations takes a lot of patience and forgiveness.


So you can start by asking if he's thought about having sex with other people, if he's ever regretted not having other partners. Then slowly introduce the idea that yes you've thought of it... then later you wonder about it, and then get to the nuts and bolts of it, keeping it as hypothetical as possible and emotions out of it. then actually start seriously considering it. this make take months.





edit:


Seems like people are taking it to mean a foursome, which is an option, but I was giving more general advice for just plain doing someone else. amounts to the same, but add the whole will he mind watching would I mind watching etc questions
I don't want to act as if I know everything about you, but it seems to me that you are bored with your sex life. I mean, most women that lose their virginity to the man that they marry don't want anything to do with ANYONE else. It's rare that you do. Anyway, I think that you should sit down with him and just calmly talk about it. If he gets mad, he gets mad. He'll get over it. Just stress the fact that you still find him more attractive than anyone else in the world; you're just curious.
You had enough morals, values and self control to keep yourself until you were married, so why not maintain your morals during marriage? I don't know if you're a Christian and that's why you kept yourself until marriage, but even if you're not and you still remained a virgin until you were married that is very admirable of you.





You said that you should have had more sexual partners? WHY? No matter how many sexual partners you had before marriage, GOD would have still sent you your Mr. Right, your husband eventually. Also, do you know how many STDs you might have contracted if you had sexual partners before marriage? By you saving yourself until marriage it shows that you have morals, values and self respect for yourself and your body. Saving yourself until marriage in this sinful world we live in is something you should really be proud of, seriously.





Marriage is SACRED. Please, like I said, if you could maintain your morals and values before marriage you can continue maintaining your morals and values during marriage. No one else should share YOUR MAN! And I don't understand how you would be fine with another woman sleeping with your husband, GROSS! You and your husband share each other sexually, emotionally, spiritually and no one else! Why would you want to share such a special bond you and your husband share with someone else?





Also, do you think your husband will be happy about this? If he married a virgin and if he was a virgin I guess he expects you and him to have high morals and values, and telling him something like this would really suprise him and disappoint him I'm sure.





I suggest you get help and counselling if you keep feeling this way. I also don't know if you're a Christian but even if you're not a Christian definitely try and seek help from JESUS and The Church (a pastor or someone you trust in church). Also if you read your Bible you would see that GOD does not approve of adultery.





I wish you the best of luck. And yeah remember, having many sexual partners equals STDs. Remember that. Don't ruin your marriage.





And so what if you got married early? It may be hard since you got married young but love will get you and your husband through your marriage. GOD BLESS.
start out with one of your girlfriends and her man, make out with your guys in front of eachother and have a signal to your girlfriend so both of you take off your shirt at the same time, you will know quickly if he is interested in any group events





my ex and I had another couple, where each of us watched the other couple having sex, we exchanged a bit of oral but never got to swapping, it was very very hot
if you really love your husband you wouldnt be worried about';missing out on sexual partners'; you would be ok with making love to your husband and your husband only until the day you die.





maybe you just dont love your husband?
your sick and could get stds and your spouse stds. have a brain and not do a sick thing like that... and a Little respect for Yourself!
Easy. Just say, 'darling, I want to go and spread my legs for some other bloke while you watch, and I can also watch you bang his wife too'.





Simple.
The grass is not always greener on the other side you know.. think very carefully about what you may be risking here.. is a bit of sex worth it all?
wow..you're amazing.
ew...std's