Wednesday, November 23, 2011

How do you maintain unconditional love for a spouse?

Unconditional love-you marry them aware of their faults and sure that you are able to deal with it for the long run, but as time goes by their self centered behaviour and offensive language grates and you become resentful. How do you get past this when opting out is not an option?How do you maintain unconditional love for a spouse?
If you can't get him out of your mind and you just miss him when ever he is away, then you really love him unconditionally. You accept all his flaws, but you emphasize the positive in him and cultivate the good in your marriage.





Otherwise, you need to make some hard personal choices and consciously build your own self-esteem while maintaining your relationship with him. Always keep communications line open with your spouse. To do otherwise will work against you.How do you maintain unconditional love for a spouse?
There is no unconditional love in a mature relationship. There are always conditions, unless it's your child. Some of them are in your marriage vows. One condition is that your spouse doesn't treat you abusively, and opting out is always an option.





I think it's a lesson to pay attention to those faults and not gloss over the red flags before you get married. They will come back to bite you. As for self-centered behavior and offensive language, this should be something reasonable people could talk out and resolve. If not, marriage counseling is certainly the option that comes before opting out.
You get off it! Look within yourself and figure out why YOU are letting things bother you. The offensive language, well, you can always communicate with your partner how it makes you feel when they speak that way, and ask them that they try not to speak that way around you. Then let it go and don't jump on them whenever they slip up. Put yourself in a higher vibration, meaning think positively. The more positively we are thinking the more positive things will come back to us. This goes as well the other way, the more you focus on the negative, the more negative you will see and manifest.
Talk about the stuff that really bothers you (the big stuff, because you know, gotta pick your battles. you are not perfect either) and use positive reinforcement on the things that go really well. It's much better to talk about that behavior early on then to think you are letting it go when you actually become resentful later. If ';later'; is already here, talk a bit and say, ';there's something I should have mentioned awhile ago, so I'm sorry for not being honest, but it really bothers me when you...';





and don't expect changes to happen overnight, but we watching for continuous improvement instead.
The way I did what you describe was by marrying somebody who was not self centered, offensive in language, nor engaged in any other behavior I could not be content with long term. This strategy has worked quite well for 22 years of marriage.





For me, the real test came this last January, when I found out my wife had been doing something I had no idea she would ever do, and she got fired from her job for it. After getting the facts from her, though, one of the first things I said to her about our relationship was, ';This is not going to break us up.'; And it hasn't. I owe her too much to give up on her, after the times she has not given up on me.
U have to realize that u and him are to different person in reality. Look at the positive things u do like about him and let the rest go. Takes work from both partners. Willingness to forgive and let the ego go.
No such thing.





Unconditional love is what we have for our children.





My wife loves me, but you better believe it's conditional. I start knocking her around or dipping my pen in some other ink, and she'll stop loving me fast.
You communicate your issues and talk about them until they are resolved. This is key.
Act just like they do.
sex


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