How do you move on after your spouse has been dead for 4 yrs?

It seems like the hurt and pain never stops after being married for 30 yrs. When you are in your mid 50's, its not easy to find someone you can trust. I am dating someone who is 10 yrs younger. We do have fun, but I do have concerns. How do you move on?How do you move on after your spouse has been dead for 4 yrs?
I am in my 50's and like you my husband of 30 years died 3 years ago yesterday. You cannot move one buy just snatching someone up to fill the space. At 4 years you should have been working on yourself instead of trying to hide from the hurt in someone new. It won't work you know. IF you still feel that much pain you should not be with someone else. There is no real way to escape it. You must stop and look at what has changed in your life and then for get trying to recreate the past use this to truely move on. Work on self I would suggest starting with reading the Four Agreements.





You can only hide for so long but until you face the pain and deal with it, until you let your self find yourself and discover what is inside you with out the idea that you need to depend on another then you wil grow and get past the pain. Sadly there is no way around it, you must go through the fire and then you can be whole.How do you move on after your spouse has been dead for 4 yrs?
There are several phases to overcome grief and loss. Hiding from the pain will never make it go away. Instead, it only prolongs the process of healing. If you have ever experienced significant loss, or even severe abuse in some form, then you know that there is an initial shock phase where the occurrence seems surreal. This is normal initially, but then there comes a time when you have to acknowledge what has occurred, before you can ever move toward the road to recovery. It seems easier to remain in denial, but in the long run, painful memories will resurface and demand to be dealt with. As difficult as it may be, acknowledge what has happened, as well as the pain that is attached to it.





You can read the rest of article on the other phases to go thru





http://selfempoweredwoman.com/11/grief-a鈥?/a>
awe, I am sorry for your loss; one of our best friends passed a few months ago and our buddy is going through the same thing; when it's not you that it has happened to, it is easy to say, get busy, talk about your spouse, he/she is part of you and always will be; you have concerns with this person you are seeing, because he/she is not right for you; take time, realize you; make a list of things you want to do and start doing them; and as you do, you will find that you attract the person that is right for you!
I was only married four years when my husband died. Even though I remarried a year later (to his cousin), our pastor sat us down and talked to us. He warned us that I would always have certain dates or times of the year that would bother me, especially for the first few years. He was so right. I remember so many dates: when he fell ill, when he got his bone marrow transplant, the last date I saw him when I was not allowed to travel (pregnant), the date I saw him again after the baby, the last time he went back into hospital, etc.





After about 5 years, a few of the dates begin to fade. I was so lucky to marry his cousin so he didn't mind me talking about him. Also, 2nd hubby could help my daughter to ';know'; her other dad when he was young.





Time does heal, but the time is different for everyone. Try to have fun. If is seems right to take the relationship to the next level, you'll know.





Good Luck and please let yourself find love againl
The hurt and pain will never stop. You lived with someone for 30 years and now you are trying to move on. It's very hard, but you can do it. Your spouse would not have wanted you to spend the rest of your life alone. You are still young enough to have a long relationship with someone else. This person that is 10 years younger might be a good thing. They won't remind you of your spouse (due to the age difference) and they can help you move on. Good luck :)
Any number of times people told me ';life goes on'; or ';it's time for you to move on';.... but everything had changed... When I was ready be social again, I worried about a lot of things, even while I was having fun. I've been with the same man for 6 years, it was quite a long time before I was able to really accept him into my life. Things work out when the time is right, when we are ready or we find a way to make it happen when something special crosses our path. Enjoy yourself and make the best of what life has left for you!
God bless you and good luck. talk to someone who knows you very personally. see what their opinion is. there is no right answer to this question. only time will tell
church is the answer, Jesus. Make sure the new guy isn't out for security. 'loans' etc.