When I called the IRS, they stated that if you selected Direct Deposit orginally on the 1040 then your stimulus should still get direct deposited. Crossing fingers...Has anyone that filed injured spouse received their stimulus direct deposit yet?
Probably none.
Injured spouse forms take 6 extra weeks to process and the stimulus checks probably won't get cut until 2 weeks after that...and then in all likelihood will be sent as checks.Has anyone that filed injured spouse received their stimulus direct deposit yet?
It is not related to your filing status; it is related to the last two digits of your SSN.
Injured spouse claims would delay it.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
How can i convince my spouse to have a baby?
I know he wants one but he keeps saying its not a good time but we both work, have a good home and are stable.How can i convince my spouse to have a baby?
If you need to convince him, then it is not the right time. You both need to feel ready. It's worth waiting for. :-)How can i convince my spouse to have a baby?
He may want a kid but obviously he doesnt feel to secure about it. I would say wait it out. It is so much better for you both to be ready and wiling to have a baby then it is to have a baby when hes not fully ready. I know it sucks to wait and be patient about this kind of subject but try to do so. Trust me you will love having a husband wanting a ready to be a dad then a dad just caught of gaurd and not fully focused on the family and the kid.
I saw an answer to a similar question by Jerry Hall (Mick Jagger's ex) in the Times a couple of weeks ago. She said that if it was left up to men the human race would have become extinct.
If you are ready %26amp; you think you can afford it then go for it.
Men are generally rather weak/self centred creatures %26amp; they often get cold feet when they think about having babies.
I know a lovely woman who grew up in a large family %26amp; who loves children. She got married understanding they would have a family but meanwhile she worked %26amp; made a successful career. Then her husband said he'd changed his mind %26amp; didn't want kids. She didn't feel she could go ahead %26amp; she loved him so stuck with him. After 20 years he left her for a much younger woman with whom he has 4 children. My friend eventually re-married but it was too late for her to have kids.
I have heard many similar stories.
Spend the next 12 months thinking it over %26amp; preparing things %26amp; it it seems right then just get pregnant.
If you don't feel able to do this %26amp; he is still unwilling then ditch him %26amp; find someone who does want a family with you. Don't be left alone without husband and children
Good Luck
Good Luck.
maybe there's something else that he is worried about, talk to him about it without putting pressure on him
ask him and let him know you'll understand
then support him and ask him to support you as well in wanting a little one
A child is not a toy, after it is born must think how to educate and what values to believe .. the family is an important value as a religion and as the ability to love the world .. must learn to believe in their aspirations and make him a man or a woman capable of living in the world .. failure would be something unforgivable ..
';Convincing'; someone to have a baby can have disastrous results. Wait till you are both ready. Remember, it is not a priority for most men. He will be aware that a baby is a passion killer - for decades - you girls only seem to realize that once the baby arrives.
Do not be sneaky about it. If he feels it's not a good time then wait. It takes two and you both need to be on equal footing to be fair. If he wanted to do a major change in life and you thought it wasn't the right time you would want to be respected...right?
You dont have to sort of convince him - that understanding needs to come from both sides! Discuss this with him - give it some more time until everything is settled %26amp; see where you are! Dont rush into it..
Don't try to convince him If you get pregnant and he's not ready he will end up resenting you and the baby Wait until you both want it
LMAO
That old chestnut
Listen honey he don't want no sprogs with you.
take advantage of him when he is asleep or ask a workmate
If you need to convince him, then it is not the right time. You both need to feel ready. It's worth waiting for. :-)How can i convince my spouse to have a baby?
He may want a kid but obviously he doesnt feel to secure about it. I would say wait it out. It is so much better for you both to be ready and wiling to have a baby then it is to have a baby when hes not fully ready. I know it sucks to wait and be patient about this kind of subject but try to do so. Trust me you will love having a husband wanting a ready to be a dad then a dad just caught of gaurd and not fully focused on the family and the kid.
I saw an answer to a similar question by Jerry Hall (Mick Jagger's ex) in the Times a couple of weeks ago. She said that if it was left up to men the human race would have become extinct.
If you are ready %26amp; you think you can afford it then go for it.
Men are generally rather weak/self centred creatures %26amp; they often get cold feet when they think about having babies.
I know a lovely woman who grew up in a large family %26amp; who loves children. She got married understanding they would have a family but meanwhile she worked %26amp; made a successful career. Then her husband said he'd changed his mind %26amp; didn't want kids. She didn't feel she could go ahead %26amp; she loved him so stuck with him. After 20 years he left her for a much younger woman with whom he has 4 children. My friend eventually re-married but it was too late for her to have kids.
I have heard many similar stories.
Spend the next 12 months thinking it over %26amp; preparing things %26amp; it it seems right then just get pregnant.
If you don't feel able to do this %26amp; he is still unwilling then ditch him %26amp; find someone who does want a family with you. Don't be left alone without husband and children
Good Luck
Good Luck.
maybe there's something else that he is worried about, talk to him about it without putting pressure on him
ask him and let him know you'll understand
then support him and ask him to support you as well in wanting a little one
A child is not a toy, after it is born must think how to educate and what values to believe .. the family is an important value as a religion and as the ability to love the world .. must learn to believe in their aspirations and make him a man or a woman capable of living in the world .. failure would be something unforgivable ..
';Convincing'; someone to have a baby can have disastrous results. Wait till you are both ready. Remember, it is not a priority for most men. He will be aware that a baby is a passion killer - for decades - you girls only seem to realize that once the baby arrives.
Do not be sneaky about it. If he feels it's not a good time then wait. It takes two and you both need to be on equal footing to be fair. If he wanted to do a major change in life and you thought it wasn't the right time you would want to be respected...right?
You dont have to sort of convince him - that understanding needs to come from both sides! Discuss this with him - give it some more time until everything is settled %26amp; see where you are! Dont rush into it..
Don't try to convince him If you get pregnant and he's not ready he will end up resenting you and the baby Wait until you both want it
LMAO
That old chestnut
Listen honey he don't want no sprogs with you.
take advantage of him when he is asleep or ask a workmate
What are the ten most important things you look for in a spouse/significant other?
Likewise, what are the ten least important things you look for/ ten things you wouldn't want?What are the ten most important things you look for in a spouse/significant other?
over obsessive
trust issues
crazy
mean
abusive
not sweet
careless
dishonestWhat are the ten most important things you look for in a spouse/significant other?
First you want to know what is on YOUR list before you ask others. If you value things like reading, you want someone who reads. You make your list, put the things that you wouldn't tolerate to be different first and stick with them, then you add things that aren't that important. Spend a season with this person, dating, seeing that you or that girl do not get angry easily or upset if you or she break the date. Is this person positive or negative about everything? Some negative is ok but most of the day, the time, negative can really bring you down, not good environment to bring kids up in either. Stick to your list, do not expect people to change, they don't. You don't always need to have your way, compromise is important. But seeing them in good times, when they are happy and bad times to see how they accept ';no'; is very important. Do they go and constantly return things at the store, they are not happy with anything? Will they be happy with you, after the honeymoon is over? Do you constantly have to spend $$ on them, to show that you love them. If they are happy always, there is something wrong, it won't last forever. Everybody gets upset at times, over big things, over little things, but how do they accept rejection, unhappy moments.
Make your list on what you can't accept anything but. Then make the list that is good, but you will bend a little. If she/he is always thinking of self, selfish that isn't good.make up brushes makeup hair
over obsessive
trust issues
crazy
mean
abusive
not sweet
careless
dishonestWhat are the ten most important things you look for in a spouse/significant other?
First you want to know what is on YOUR list before you ask others. If you value things like reading, you want someone who reads. You make your list, put the things that you wouldn't tolerate to be different first and stick with them, then you add things that aren't that important. Spend a season with this person, dating, seeing that you or that girl do not get angry easily or upset if you or she break the date. Is this person positive or negative about everything? Some negative is ok but most of the day, the time, negative can really bring you down, not good environment to bring kids up in either. Stick to your list, do not expect people to change, they don't. You don't always need to have your way, compromise is important. But seeing them in good times, when they are happy and bad times to see how they accept ';no'; is very important. Do they go and constantly return things at the store, they are not happy with anything? Will they be happy with you, after the honeymoon is over? Do you constantly have to spend $$ on them, to show that you love them. If they are happy always, there is something wrong, it won't last forever. Everybody gets upset at times, over big things, over little things, but how do they accept rejection, unhappy moments.
Make your list on what you can't accept anything but. Then make the list that is good, but you will bend a little. If she/he is always thinking of self, selfish that isn't good.
Is a surviving spouse legally required to pay off the deceased spouse's medical bills?
My mom died in Sept 2007. She left no estate. My dad has no assets besides his monthly social seciruti. Is he legally responsible for her bills? (medical, car loan, credit cards, etc)Is a surviving spouse legally required to pay off the deceased spouse's medical bills?
I'm sorry for you loss.
No, he is not responsible. Her estate(assets) are. If there are no assets in her name, or joint assets, then he doesn't have to pay anything. He just needs to inform them that she has past away and has no estate. They get to eat the cost of what insurance doesn't pay. Remember, if they had bank accounts, a house, cars, etc.. in both their names, or in her name, then she does indeed have assets and they could come after those. He will not get to keep a car that is in her name if he doesn't keep up the payments. Same with any other items she was paying on. He really needs to at least speak with a estate lawyer over the phone to get some real legal advice. Many lawyers will answer easy questions like this for nothing if you approach them right. Even if he does need to retain a lawyer this is open and shut and should cost very little-a one time visit for may an hour or two.
Remember, a individual is the only one responsible for their own debts. Even if you are married only you are responsible for your debts. The exceptions are assets that are jointly owned or debts that are jointly entered into. Since most married couples both sign for many debts and jointly own numberous things she may have more of an estate than you realize.Is a surviving spouse legally required to pay off the deceased spouse's medical bills?
Yes he is. If he's financially not able, then he needs to contact the medical providers %26amp; explain his financial situation. He is liable though.
I'm sorry for you loss.
No, he is not responsible. Her estate(assets) are. If there are no assets in her name, or joint assets, then he doesn't have to pay anything. He just needs to inform them that she has past away and has no estate. They get to eat the cost of what insurance doesn't pay. Remember, if they had bank accounts, a house, cars, etc.. in both their names, or in her name, then she does indeed have assets and they could come after those. He will not get to keep a car that is in her name if he doesn't keep up the payments. Same with any other items she was paying on. He really needs to at least speak with a estate lawyer over the phone to get some real legal advice. Many lawyers will answer easy questions like this for nothing if you approach them right. Even if he does need to retain a lawyer this is open and shut and should cost very little-a one time visit for may an hour or two.
Remember, a individual is the only one responsible for their own debts. Even if you are married only you are responsible for your debts. The exceptions are assets that are jointly owned or debts that are jointly entered into. Since most married couples both sign for many debts and jointly own numberous things she may have more of an estate than you realize.Is a surviving spouse legally required to pay off the deceased spouse's medical bills?
Yes he is. If he's financially not able, then he needs to contact the medical providers %26amp; explain his financial situation. He is liable though.
Do Republicans ever take their spouse out to dinner and a show?
The way they complain about the Obama's it's like they are jealous. Maybe they wanted to be invited to dinner by the President.
Whine whiine whine, can't they do anything else.Do Republicans ever take their spouse out to dinner and a show?
Someone always has to criticize Republicans %26amp; Christians. Why?Do Republicans ever take their spouse out to dinner and a show?
Wow, this question is nonsense. I am sure that Republicans take their spouses or significant others out to dinner and a show, but THEY pay for it. It is the tax payers paying for Obamas extravagant night out that was over $24,000 dollars. Yeah I am jealous of Obama, I wish I could go out on other peoples dime. Not only is he going out for an extravagant night out, but its in a time that everyone is calling such a crisis. Why don't you actually look into things and TRY, I know its hard for you, but TRY to understand peoples reasoning.
They have a right to *****. It's annoying how many people are worshiping the ';messiah';, especially the media. Who cares if he goes out to a show and dinner. I don't want to hear about it. What the hell has he done besides put this country on the fast track for socialism and increase the federal deficit?
I'm a Republican, I'm 24 and enjoy being single. I like my freedom, my truck, hunting, fishing, and casual sex when I feel like it. But to answer your question, the President would be smart not to invite me to dinner because he'd get a big earful of Nathan
They go to a show first then the dinner.
(the show)
Adult Sunday School 9:00am
Regular Sunday service 10:00am
(dinner)
Golden Corral 11:30am
ALL THE TIME...... ONLY WE PAY FOR IT OURSELVES!!
WAKE UP!
YOUR TYPICAL LIBERAL SPIN IS SICKENING.
WHY SHOULD TAXPAYERS PAY FOR OBAMA';S NITE OUT?
Yes and since we work for a living we pay for it ourselves. Obama is suffering from a problem that the southern plantation owners had a name for.
Many republicans are into very kinky sex acts with younger men and prostitutes, but probably never their wives.
Hank Hill however, took his wife Peg out to the square dancing place every once in a while.
Republicans are whining? But you are whining about the Republicans right now. What's your excuse as a Democrat?
Yeah I do the difference is though I pay for it and don't freeload off money that does not belong to me in the first place.
Yes, but we don't blow through taxpayer money like Obama does. You liberal fascists bitched about McCain's shoes but not Obama's countless private jet trips and cocktail parties.
i would if you sent me some money for date .
I love outback
Yes we take them out, unlike Liberals we don't get food stamps.
no they just play footsies with other guys in the mens bathroom
Whine whiine whine, can't they do anything else.Do Republicans ever take their spouse out to dinner and a show?
Someone always has to criticize Republicans %26amp; Christians. Why?Do Republicans ever take their spouse out to dinner and a show?
Wow, this question is nonsense. I am sure that Republicans take their spouses or significant others out to dinner and a show, but THEY pay for it. It is the tax payers paying for Obamas extravagant night out that was over $24,000 dollars. Yeah I am jealous of Obama, I wish I could go out on other peoples dime. Not only is he going out for an extravagant night out, but its in a time that everyone is calling such a crisis. Why don't you actually look into things and TRY, I know its hard for you, but TRY to understand peoples reasoning.
They have a right to *****. It's annoying how many people are worshiping the ';messiah';, especially the media. Who cares if he goes out to a show and dinner. I don't want to hear about it. What the hell has he done besides put this country on the fast track for socialism and increase the federal deficit?
I'm a Republican, I'm 24 and enjoy being single. I like my freedom, my truck, hunting, fishing, and casual sex when I feel like it. But to answer your question, the President would be smart not to invite me to dinner because he'd get a big earful of Nathan
They go to a show first then the dinner.
(the show)
Adult Sunday School 9:00am
Regular Sunday service 10:00am
(dinner)
Golden Corral 11:30am
ALL THE TIME...... ONLY WE PAY FOR IT OURSELVES!!
WAKE UP!
YOUR TYPICAL LIBERAL SPIN IS SICKENING.
WHY SHOULD TAXPAYERS PAY FOR OBAMA';S NITE OUT?
Yes and since we work for a living we pay for it ourselves. Obama is suffering from a problem that the southern plantation owners had a name for.
Many republicans are into very kinky sex acts with younger men and prostitutes, but probably never their wives.
Hank Hill however, took his wife Peg out to the square dancing place every once in a while.
Republicans are whining? But you are whining about the Republicans right now. What's your excuse as a Democrat?
Yeah I do the difference is though I pay for it and don't freeload off money that does not belong to me in the first place.
Yes, but we don't blow through taxpayer money like Obama does. You liberal fascists bitched about McCain's shoes but not Obama's countless private jet trips and cocktail parties.
i would if you sent me some money for date .
I love outback
Yes we take them out, unlike Liberals we don't get food stamps.
no they just play footsies with other guys in the mens bathroom
How can I get my spouse to be less of clutered?
It drives me nuts. I have to spend all day picking up after her, before I can even start to clean.How can I get my spouse to be less of clutered?
Treat her like child. Put all her mess in a box, tell her if it isn't put away you will throw it away. Carry out your threat if she doesn't put her stuff away. I know it sounds a bit harsh but if she is going to act like a baby leaving mess in a shared space then you need to make a point.How can I get my spouse to be less of clutered?
That's gotta be annoying. I can't stand that, either! You can either leave the stuff on the floor until she realizes she should pick up after herself, talk to her about it, or throw it away if she doesn't pick it up.
You need to talk to her about this. Also, stop picking up after her, maybe she will get tired of looking at her own mess, and pick it up herself.
Throw out what she leaves on the floor.
you clean????????
are you gay?
and cluttered has 2 t's
i feel your pain! we're in the same boat.
Treat her like child. Put all her mess in a box, tell her if it isn't put away you will throw it away. Carry out your threat if she doesn't put her stuff away. I know it sounds a bit harsh but if she is going to act like a baby leaving mess in a shared space then you need to make a point.How can I get my spouse to be less of clutered?
That's gotta be annoying. I can't stand that, either! You can either leave the stuff on the floor until she realizes she should pick up after herself, talk to her about it, or throw it away if she doesn't pick it up.
You need to talk to her about this. Also, stop picking up after her, maybe she will get tired of looking at her own mess, and pick it up herself.
Throw out what she leaves on the floor.
you clean????????
are you gay?
and cluttered has 2 t's
i feel your pain! we're in the same boat.
How should I tell my spouse I want us to become swingers?
I lost my virginity to my husband. We married very young right after college. I have had feelings like I should have had more sexually partners and more experience.How should I tell my spouse I want us to become swingers?
Hopefully you've ignored all the idiots with their false morality rants.
My wife and I have been swinging for five years, and have never had a rough patch in our whole marriage. We swing because it is fun, not because we're bored with each other, or something is lacking. It's a recreational activity. Think of tennis for example. You and your hubby can play tennis for hours on end, but sometimes, a game of pairs is a fun diversion.
Swinging is only for a rock solid, honest, marriage. Swinging can't hurt a marriage like that, but will be fatal to anything less.
Swingers have a lower divorce rate, and a lower rate of STD's than any other portion of the public. All the morality cops out there suffer a 60% divorce rate. Nice, huh?
Here's a couple ways to broach the subject. You might say you stumbled across the topic of swinging right here on Yahoo Answers, and being curious, you looked at a website about swinging. (Here's one: http://www.swinglifestyle.com/ )
If you have ever seen the TV show ';Swingtown,'; you might talk about that.
If he shows any interest, I would recommend going to a swing party, only to watch, not to participate. Meet people, mingle, but don't play with anyone else. See how you feel about it, and talk it over thoroughly when you get home. That's what my wife and I did, we didn't play with anyone else until about our fourth visit to the club.
If you try swinging, make your rules, and stick to them no matter what. Never change rules in the heat of the moment. There's always time to talk about rule changes later when it's just the two of you.
A good book on the subject, is ';Doin One For The Team,'; by Simbaxxx. http://www.amazon.com/Doin-One-Team-Swin…
Good luck. You're honest enough to know you have fantasies, and intelligent enough to explore them.How should I tell my spouse I want us to become swingers?
Wow, this is incredible...I've had both a tough day AND tough questions to answer!
Before starting, I feel I should warn you: sometimes a thing isn't all it's cracked up to be. I've heard a variety of stories about couples who decide to have ';swinging'; relationships. Those stories are a minefield scattered with instances of damaged and ruined relationships. Keep in mind that what you're considering is one of those ';almost-irrevocable'; things in life: once you even start down that path, it will be well-near impossible for you to go back to ';the way things were,'; even if you decide you don't like swinging.
OK, now that I've warned you, on with the good stuff. This is actually a very tricky proposition with no good approach; only relatively easier ones. If you both watch adult movies together, you can try slipping in a tape with ';partner-swapping.'; Take some time, do your research, and get a good one: make sure it involves well set-up characters so that it seems true-to-life. Privately gauge his reaction carefully. If he likes it, try getting another and, if he asks you about it, just say you like watching that sort of thing; it excites you. That's probably going to open the door. If it doesn't, you're just going to have to bite the bullet and ask him what he thinks about what they're doing (swinging). That will definitely do the trick.
If you don't have an ';in'; like this one, you may just have to ask him directly. Keep your approach angled and indirect: just ask has he ever heard of swinging and see what he says...you can claim that you'd heard some old high-school friends had married and were now trying it, and you were curious if he knew anything about it. If his response seems to be negative, you should be able to back out gracefully. If he seems warm to the idea, proceed slowly...you may not even want to tell him that evening; let the idea ';simmer,'; so to speak.
Once he gets the idea of what you want, be prepared to field all sorts of questions; the idea of you wanting to swing will automatically raise them, particularly regarding the state of the relationship: ';Am I not satisfying her in bed? Does she not love me anymore? Does she want a divorce?'; Also, if your partner has difficulty coping with ';outside the box'; thinking - or is just simply not always understanding - it will raise questions about YOU, as well: ';Who is this person I've married, exactly?';
One final thought: you said that you feel as if you should have had more sexual partners and more experience. My question to that is why? I think it's very important that you explore exactly why you feel swinging is the answer for you. If you are wishing that you had more knowledge and experience to bring to bed with your husband - or you're wishing he had it - you can fulfill that together with adult videos, counseling, and/or research (books, the internet, etc). On the other hand, if you're feeling as if you ';missed out'; on the different pleasures that different sexual partners bring, it's *possible* swinging is for you...although that too can be satisfied in the ways listed above and more. Just wanted to throw that out there before you do something potentially irreversible.
The best of luck to you and your spouse.
Someone asked how you would handle it if you find out that other men are better than your husband.
I'd like to know how you'll handle it if he finds out that other women are better than you? Wouldn't you be jealous? I can't imagine sharing my husband with anyone (and he's the only lover I've ever had).
Things can start to seem boring sometimes if you've been married for awhile. Maybe instead of bringing other people into it (which I think is a bad idea), you could try to spice up your sex life with your husband. Go to a sex therapist if necessary. Get some good books, discuss ideas, talk to each other about your fantasies. You might be surprised at just how spicy you can make your marriage with just the two of you.
This is a not uncommon problem for younger women who marry without having really lived a single sexually and then the wonder what they missed out on.
Think very clearly about this - which you may have already.
What if others are better than he is - are you ready to deal with him as your primary lover when you know he is lacking?
How are you going to avoid developing feelings for others?
Are you looking to swing together as a couple or do you want to go alone? The Swinging LifeStyle does no preclude straight women - but the overwhelming majority are markedly bisexual. Are you willing to to engage in same sex activities?
there are a lot of considerations - more than I can get into here but feel free to email.
In short you can do what you want, but be certain this is well thought out
you haven't mentioned how your sex life is. Is he an experimental partner, is he willing to try new things? How strong is your relationship?
These are questions you should be asking yourself. Along with how are you going to feel if he has a different partner? What are rules you two can feel comfortable with?
Opening a marriage takes a great deal of tolerance and maturity. Not that people who wish to be monogamous are immature, but that bringing in new people and new situations takes a lot of patience and forgiveness.
So you can start by asking if he's thought about having sex with other people, if he's ever regretted not having other partners. Then slowly introduce the idea that yes you've thought of it... then later you wonder about it, and then get to the nuts and bolts of it, keeping it as hypothetical as possible and emotions out of it. then actually start seriously considering it. this make take months.
edit:
Seems like people are taking it to mean a foursome, which is an option, but I was giving more general advice for just plain doing someone else. amounts to the same, but add the whole will he mind watching would I mind watching etc questions
I don't want to act as if I know everything about you, but it seems to me that you are bored with your sex life. I mean, most women that lose their virginity to the man that they marry don't want anything to do with ANYONE else. It's rare that you do. Anyway, I think that you should sit down with him and just calmly talk about it. If he gets mad, he gets mad. He'll get over it. Just stress the fact that you still find him more attractive than anyone else in the world; you're just curious.
You had enough morals, values and self control to keep yourself until you were married, so why not maintain your morals during marriage? I don't know if you're a Christian and that's why you kept yourself until marriage, but even if you're not and you still remained a virgin until you were married that is very admirable of you.
You said that you should have had more sexual partners? WHY? No matter how many sexual partners you had before marriage, GOD would have still sent you your Mr. Right, your husband eventually. Also, do you know how many STDs you might have contracted if you had sexual partners before marriage? By you saving yourself until marriage it shows that you have morals, values and self respect for yourself and your body. Saving yourself until marriage in this sinful world we live in is something you should really be proud of, seriously.
Marriage is SACRED. Please, like I said, if you could maintain your morals and values before marriage you can continue maintaining your morals and values during marriage. No one else should share YOUR MAN! And I don't understand how you would be fine with another woman sleeping with your husband, GROSS! You and your husband share each other sexually, emotionally, spiritually and no one else! Why would you want to share such a special bond you and your husband share with someone else?
Also, do you think your husband will be happy about this? If he married a virgin and if he was a virgin I guess he expects you and him to have high morals and values, and telling him something like this would really suprise him and disappoint him I'm sure.
I suggest you get help and counselling if you keep feeling this way. I also don't know if you're a Christian but even if you're not a Christian definitely try and seek help from JESUS and The Church (a pastor or someone you trust in church). Also if you read your Bible you would see that GOD does not approve of adultery.
I wish you the best of luck. And yeah remember, having many sexual partners equals STDs. Remember that. Don't ruin your marriage.
And so what if you got married early? It may be hard since you got married young but love will get you and your husband through your marriage. GOD BLESS.
start out with one of your girlfriends and her man, make out with your guys in front of eachother and have a signal to your girlfriend so both of you take off your shirt at the same time, you will know quickly if he is interested in any group events
my ex and I had another couple, where each of us watched the other couple having sex, we exchanged a bit of oral but never got to swapping, it was very very hot
if you really love your husband you wouldnt be worried about';missing out on sexual partners'; you would be ok with making love to your husband and your husband only until the day you die.
maybe you just dont love your husband?
your sick and could get stds and your spouse stds. have a brain and not do a sick thing like that... and a Little respect for Yourself!
Easy. Just say, 'darling, I want to go and spread my legs for some other bloke while you watch, and I can also watch you bang his wife too'.
Simple.
The grass is not always greener on the other side you know.. think very carefully about what you may be risking here.. is a bit of sex worth it all?
wow..you're amazing.
ew...std's
Hopefully you've ignored all the idiots with their false morality rants.
My wife and I have been swinging for five years, and have never had a rough patch in our whole marriage. We swing because it is fun, not because we're bored with each other, or something is lacking. It's a recreational activity. Think of tennis for example. You and your hubby can play tennis for hours on end, but sometimes, a game of pairs is a fun diversion.
Swinging is only for a rock solid, honest, marriage. Swinging can't hurt a marriage like that, but will be fatal to anything less.
Swingers have a lower divorce rate, and a lower rate of STD's than any other portion of the public. All the morality cops out there suffer a 60% divorce rate. Nice, huh?
Here's a couple ways to broach the subject. You might say you stumbled across the topic of swinging right here on Yahoo Answers, and being curious, you looked at a website about swinging. (Here's one: http://www.swinglifestyle.com/ )
If you have ever seen the TV show ';Swingtown,'; you might talk about that.
If he shows any interest, I would recommend going to a swing party, only to watch, not to participate. Meet people, mingle, but don't play with anyone else. See how you feel about it, and talk it over thoroughly when you get home. That's what my wife and I did, we didn't play with anyone else until about our fourth visit to the club.
If you try swinging, make your rules, and stick to them no matter what. Never change rules in the heat of the moment. There's always time to talk about rule changes later when it's just the two of you.
A good book on the subject, is ';Doin One For The Team,'; by Simbaxxx. http://www.amazon.com/Doin-One-Team-Swin…
Good luck. You're honest enough to know you have fantasies, and intelligent enough to explore them.How should I tell my spouse I want us to become swingers?
Wow, this is incredible...I've had both a tough day AND tough questions to answer!
Before starting, I feel I should warn you: sometimes a thing isn't all it's cracked up to be. I've heard a variety of stories about couples who decide to have ';swinging'; relationships. Those stories are a minefield scattered with instances of damaged and ruined relationships. Keep in mind that what you're considering is one of those ';almost-irrevocable'; things in life: once you even start down that path, it will be well-near impossible for you to go back to ';the way things were,'; even if you decide you don't like swinging.
OK, now that I've warned you, on with the good stuff. This is actually a very tricky proposition with no good approach; only relatively easier ones. If you both watch adult movies together, you can try slipping in a tape with ';partner-swapping.'; Take some time, do your research, and get a good one: make sure it involves well set-up characters so that it seems true-to-life. Privately gauge his reaction carefully. If he likes it, try getting another and, if he asks you about it, just say you like watching that sort of thing; it excites you. That's probably going to open the door. If it doesn't, you're just going to have to bite the bullet and ask him what he thinks about what they're doing (swinging). That will definitely do the trick.
If you don't have an ';in'; like this one, you may just have to ask him directly. Keep your approach angled and indirect: just ask has he ever heard of swinging and see what he says...you can claim that you'd heard some old high-school friends had married and were now trying it, and you were curious if he knew anything about it. If his response seems to be negative, you should be able to back out gracefully. If he seems warm to the idea, proceed slowly...you may not even want to tell him that evening; let the idea ';simmer,'; so to speak.
Once he gets the idea of what you want, be prepared to field all sorts of questions; the idea of you wanting to swing will automatically raise them, particularly regarding the state of the relationship: ';Am I not satisfying her in bed? Does she not love me anymore? Does she want a divorce?'; Also, if your partner has difficulty coping with ';outside the box'; thinking - or is just simply not always understanding - it will raise questions about YOU, as well: ';Who is this person I've married, exactly?';
One final thought: you said that you feel as if you should have had more sexual partners and more experience. My question to that is why? I think it's very important that you explore exactly why you feel swinging is the answer for you. If you are wishing that you had more knowledge and experience to bring to bed with your husband - or you're wishing he had it - you can fulfill that together with adult videos, counseling, and/or research (books, the internet, etc). On the other hand, if you're feeling as if you ';missed out'; on the different pleasures that different sexual partners bring, it's *possible* swinging is for you...although that too can be satisfied in the ways listed above and more. Just wanted to throw that out there before you do something potentially irreversible.
The best of luck to you and your spouse.
Someone asked how you would handle it if you find out that other men are better than your husband.
I'd like to know how you'll handle it if he finds out that other women are better than you? Wouldn't you be jealous? I can't imagine sharing my husband with anyone (and he's the only lover I've ever had).
Things can start to seem boring sometimes if you've been married for awhile. Maybe instead of bringing other people into it (which I think is a bad idea), you could try to spice up your sex life with your husband. Go to a sex therapist if necessary. Get some good books, discuss ideas, talk to each other about your fantasies. You might be surprised at just how spicy you can make your marriage with just the two of you.
This is a not uncommon problem for younger women who marry without having really lived a single sexually and then the wonder what they missed out on.
Think very clearly about this - which you may have already.
What if others are better than he is - are you ready to deal with him as your primary lover when you know he is lacking?
How are you going to avoid developing feelings for others?
Are you looking to swing together as a couple or do you want to go alone? The Swinging LifeStyle does no preclude straight women - but the overwhelming majority are markedly bisexual. Are you willing to to engage in same sex activities?
there are a lot of considerations - more than I can get into here but feel free to email.
In short you can do what you want, but be certain this is well thought out
you haven't mentioned how your sex life is. Is he an experimental partner, is he willing to try new things? How strong is your relationship?
These are questions you should be asking yourself. Along with how are you going to feel if he has a different partner? What are rules you two can feel comfortable with?
Opening a marriage takes a great deal of tolerance and maturity. Not that people who wish to be monogamous are immature, but that bringing in new people and new situations takes a lot of patience and forgiveness.
So you can start by asking if he's thought about having sex with other people, if he's ever regretted not having other partners. Then slowly introduce the idea that yes you've thought of it... then later you wonder about it, and then get to the nuts and bolts of it, keeping it as hypothetical as possible and emotions out of it. then actually start seriously considering it. this make take months.
edit:
Seems like people are taking it to mean a foursome, which is an option, but I was giving more general advice for just plain doing someone else. amounts to the same, but add the whole will he mind watching would I mind watching etc questions
I don't want to act as if I know everything about you, but it seems to me that you are bored with your sex life. I mean, most women that lose their virginity to the man that they marry don't want anything to do with ANYONE else. It's rare that you do. Anyway, I think that you should sit down with him and just calmly talk about it. If he gets mad, he gets mad. He'll get over it. Just stress the fact that you still find him more attractive than anyone else in the world; you're just curious.
You had enough morals, values and self control to keep yourself until you were married, so why not maintain your morals during marriage? I don't know if you're a Christian and that's why you kept yourself until marriage, but even if you're not and you still remained a virgin until you were married that is very admirable of you.
You said that you should have had more sexual partners? WHY? No matter how many sexual partners you had before marriage, GOD would have still sent you your Mr. Right, your husband eventually. Also, do you know how many STDs you might have contracted if you had sexual partners before marriage? By you saving yourself until marriage it shows that you have morals, values and self respect for yourself and your body. Saving yourself until marriage in this sinful world we live in is something you should really be proud of, seriously.
Marriage is SACRED. Please, like I said, if you could maintain your morals and values before marriage you can continue maintaining your morals and values during marriage. No one else should share YOUR MAN! And I don't understand how you would be fine with another woman sleeping with your husband, GROSS! You and your husband share each other sexually, emotionally, spiritually and no one else! Why would you want to share such a special bond you and your husband share with someone else?
Also, do you think your husband will be happy about this? If he married a virgin and if he was a virgin I guess he expects you and him to have high morals and values, and telling him something like this would really suprise him and disappoint him I'm sure.
I suggest you get help and counselling if you keep feeling this way. I also don't know if you're a Christian but even if you're not a Christian definitely try and seek help from JESUS and The Church (a pastor or someone you trust in church). Also if you read your Bible you would see that GOD does not approve of adultery.
I wish you the best of luck. And yeah remember, having many sexual partners equals STDs. Remember that. Don't ruin your marriage.
And so what if you got married early? It may be hard since you got married young but love will get you and your husband through your marriage. GOD BLESS.
start out with one of your girlfriends and her man, make out with your guys in front of eachother and have a signal to your girlfriend so both of you take off your shirt at the same time, you will know quickly if he is interested in any group events
my ex and I had another couple, where each of us watched the other couple having sex, we exchanged a bit of oral but never got to swapping, it was very very hot
if you really love your husband you wouldnt be worried about';missing out on sexual partners'; you would be ok with making love to your husband and your husband only until the day you die.
maybe you just dont love your husband?
your sick and could get stds and your spouse stds. have a brain and not do a sick thing like that... and a Little respect for Yourself!
Easy. Just say, 'darling, I want to go and spread my legs for some other bloke while you watch, and I can also watch you bang his wife too'.
Simple.
The grass is not always greener on the other side you know.. think very carefully about what you may be risking here.. is a bit of sex worth it all?
wow..you're amazing.
ew...std's
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